Coming this Fall: P.S. I Love You More Than Tuna

p.s.-i-love-you-more-than-tuna

Really helpful books about pet loss are few and far between. While there are plenty of books and websites out there that offer support, ultimately, grief is a solitary journey. No book or website can do it for you.

The concept that grief is a process with a start and end point is ludicrous. You’re never going to be the same after loss. You never “get over it.” There is no closure with death. You cannot erase the memory of a beloved pet, and why would you want to? With most losses, as time passes, the intensity of your feelings will soften, memories of your time together will replace the pain of loss, and you’ll integrate your grief into the person you’ve become as a result of this experience.

The best books about grief will support you in your unique journey, and they will help you uncover rather than suppress your emotions.

love-you-more-than-tuna

P.S. I Love You More Than Tuna by Sarah Chauncey, featuring illustrations by Francis Tremblay, is that kind of book. Due out from SoundsTrue in October, this sympathy gift book for adults who are grieving the loss of a cat will help readers through their pain without being saccharine. It will heal through laughter as well as tears, and offer empathy without minimizing the reader’s pain or trying to “fix it.”

The project began after Sarah’s 20-year-old heart cat Hedda passed away in December 2016. Her friend Francis sent her a drawing, along with a note “from Hedda” that ended, “p.s. I love you more than tuna.” You can read the full origin story on morethantuna.com.

hedda-tuna

If you’ve read The Conscious Cat for a while, you’re already familiar with Sarah’s work. She contributed a number of wonderful articles about pet loss to our site. Sarah and I have been corresponding regularly via email over the past few months, and I treasure the friendship that has developed as a result of these emails. Her support, as I’m coping with my own loss, has been invaluable.

Sarah is not a grief counselor. She’s simply a fellow cat lover who has experienced the agonizing grief that follows losing a cat. She has a unique ability to get to the heart of what is helpful when dealing with grief (and what’s not,) and present it in a way that offers healing.

You’ll be hearing a lot more about Sarah’s book here on The Conscious Cat in the coming months. In the meantime, follow Sarah on Instagram and Facebook for tips on coping with pet loss – and for adorable photos of her tortie Ariel! You can also sign up for her newsletter to receive regular updates.

And of course, the book’s title really resonates with me. I’m pretty sure that no matter how much Ruby loved her tuna cake, she still loved me more than tuna.

Ruby-finished-eating

May I have some more tuna cake, please?

16 Comments on Coming this Fall: P.S. I Love You More Than Tuna

  1. Maricris
    January 21, 2020 at 7:33 pm (5 months ago)

    That’s true. It’s sad that most just feel like they can be “replaced”. They’re family and it’s more difficult to grieve if you’re the primary care taker of the cat. It just never feels ok after the loss.

    Reply
  2. Tel-Aviv's feral cats
    January 18, 2020 at 11:40 am (5 months ago)

    I hate it when people say, “It’s just a pet. Buy another one.” Like it’s a toy that can be replaced when broken.

    I lost my cat many years ago, and it still hurts to think about it. I used to hurt so bad for the first year. I’d be walking down the street and feeling all right, and suddenly the grief strikes like a tsunami.

    Once I stopped in the middle of the street, not remembering where I was and how or why I got there, and unable to think clearly enough to just go home.

    I feel better now, but I have more respect for people who grieve deeply for their lost pets than for those who shrug it off.

    Reply
  3. caren
    January 11, 2020 at 3:55 pm (5 months ago)

    this book sounds extra special and would make a truly thoughtful gift. You are right, I am CERTAIN Ruby loved YOU more than tuna.

    Reply
  4. Steph
    January 10, 2020 at 3:33 pm (5 months ago)

    Ingrid,
    Thank you for your wisdom & heart. I only know of Sarah & I Love You More than Tuna because of you.
    I know your relationship with her is priceless & so important now.
    I never realized there is something called anticipatory grief. I learned that from Sarah. Our precious Squirt was diagnosed with kidney disease in 2015. It has & continues to be an emotional roller coaster ever since. Through my understanding of the benefits if anticipatory grief, I have moved into the present. Now. We have had priceless times in the 5 years since that I would have missed burdened with the future worries. We live & love every single moment & there have been lots of them!
    I realize what the future may bring, but it has no place in our today. Today is our forever. I thank you both for your compassionate hearts.

    Reply
    • Steph
      January 10, 2020 at 3:39 pm (5 months ago)

      I apologize. I didn’t mean to post twice. I couldn’t find my first one & thought it got lost. Too important not to say it again

      Reply
  5. Melissa & Mudpie
    January 10, 2020 at 1:46 pm (5 months ago)

    I’ve been looking forward to this book for a long time.

    Reply
  6. Steph
    January 10, 2020 at 12:29 pm (5 months ago)

    Ingrid- it’s because of you I learned about Sarah & I love you more than tuna. I knew you two would be connected now more than ever. I thank you for all your heart & wisdom. I have learned a lot from you both. I am experiencing anticipatory grief. I never even knew what it was. Our precious Squirt was diagnosed with kidney disease in 2015. We’ve had a lot of ups & downs over these years. I know what the future holds but it has no place in the present. My senses are sharper, I am better about living like my sweet Squirt- in the now.
    Every moment with her is a miracle. I was reluctant to share this with you before, with everything you are going through now, but with this post about Sarah’s book I thought the time was right.

    Reply
    • Ingrid
      January 11, 2020 at 6:00 am (5 months ago)

      I’m so sorry you’re also dealing with this awful disease, Steph. I’m glad that Sarah’s and my writing are helpful to you during your journey with Squirt. “Every moment with her is a miracle” – hold on to that as you navigate your way through this. It will make a difference down the road.

      Reply
      • Steph
        January 11, 2020 at 2:00 pm (5 months ago)

        Bless you for responding Ingrid

        Reply
  7. Timmy Tomcat
    January 10, 2020 at 12:09 pm (5 months ago)

    Losing a beloved cat is a difficult and deeply hurting experience. As I reply here I am thinking back on my many dear furs and still feel the pain that is difficult to share with anyone who is not part of our community. We will be looking for this one

    Reply
  8. Catherine J Stout
    January 10, 2020 at 10:07 am (5 months ago)

    I just had to say, I love this picture of sweet Ruby…and your words, Ingrid, never fail to make me smile..

    Reply
  9. Nancy Faulkner
    January 10, 2020 at 8:55 am (5 months ago)

    Ingrid,

    Very true! It is a solitary journey. Love the picture of Ruby! That is so Ruby!

    Ruby….never knew you personally. But felt that I did know you. Look out for Mom & Allerga. And maybe a blink for the rest of us.

    Grayson, Milo, Nan

    Reply
  10. Janine
    January 10, 2020 at 8:47 am (5 months ago)

    It sounds like this book will be a huge help for people grieving the loss of their cats.

    Reply
  11. Kim
    January 10, 2020 at 7:47 am (5 months ago)

    I faded from the internet in 2018 when I lost my big man to cancer and I’ve been slowly getting a bit more active. I’ve been lost since it happened…there aren’t words for the feeling. You know all of this though and I so badly wish I had something to say to ease a bit of the pain if even for a moment. You were my first kitty blog I followed and my favorite. When I saw Ruby passed I broke down. The sadness of her passing and for you. I can relate to your pain but as we all grieve differently I would never say “I know how you feel”. I’m so terrible putting things into words but please know that I adored her and she will always be remembered. Again, I’m so deeply sorry.

    Reply
    • Ingrid
      January 10, 2020 at 8:56 am (5 months ago)

      Thank you for your beautiful words, Kim. “There aren’t words for the feeling” is so true.

      Reply
  12. Angela Gosselin
    January 10, 2020 at 4:30 am (5 months ago)

    Beautiful!! <3

    Reply

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