Ask the Cat Doc: Can You Encourage a Cat to Cuddle and Be a Lap Cat?


Welcome to our regular “Ask the Cat Doc With Dr. Lynn Bahr” segment! Once a month, Dr. Bahr answers as many of your questions as she can, and you can leave new questions for her in a comment.

Dr. Bahr graduated from the University of Georgia College of Veterinary Medicine in 1991. Unlike most veterinarians, she did not grow up knowing that she would become a veterinarian. “It was a cat who got me interested in the practice and I am forever grateful to him,” said Dr. Bahr. Over the course of her veterinary career, Dr. Bahr found that the lifestyle of cats has changed dramatically. As the lifestyle of cats has changed, so did Dr. Bahr’s client education. In addition to finding medical solutions, she also encourages owners to enrich their home environments so that their cats can live long, happy, and healthy lives.

This new understanding led Dr. Bahr to combine her passion for strengthening the human-animal bond with her veterinary background and knowledge of what animals need and want to start her own solution-based cat product company, Dezi & Roo, inspired by two cats of the same names.

For more information about Dezi & Roo and their unique and innovative cat toys, please visit Dezi and Roo on Etsy.

Do you have a question for Dr. Bahr?
Leave it in a comment and she’ll answer it in next month’s column!

Cats don’t like to be picked up or held

I have two female (spayed) DSH rescue cats, Lily & Emily, approx 7 & 8 y.o. respectively, who were seized from a hoarder by the County. They were vetted in the County shelter, where we adopted them over 3 years ago. Both cats had numerous issues ranging from malnutrition/starvation, parasite infestation & flee bite anemia, and severe gingivo & caudal stomatitis (both have now been in full remission for over 2 years (full mouth extractions). We have solved all of these issues & they have doubled their weights from under 5 lbs to approx 9 lbs. They are are loving companions, sleep with us, enjoy interacting with their humans (to whom they have bonded), and love to be handled & petted…..except, they resist being picked up or restrained in any way and are definitely NOT lap kitties. They constantly head bonk & scent us, and talk to us.

How can we add cuddling & lap laying to their agenda, or are those unattainable behaviors due to the likelihood that they led horrible lives & were abused in some way(s) before they came to us?

We are extraordinarily patient with these two little darlings & have accepted them on their terms & don’t wish to force the issue.

Is there any hope to convert them to being lap kitties? We adore them just as they are, but we’d like to add even more enrichment to their lives if possible. – Dick Weavil

Hi Dick,

Your kitties are so lucky to have been rescued from a bad situation and then adopted by you. I am thrilled to hear they are thriving in your home and doing so well medically and emotionally. You are pawsome!

Many cats, like yours, resist being picked up or restrained and view those actions as being dangerous. Cats are seen as prey by coyotes, large birds, and other menacing critters who lift them off the ground as they are carrying them away in their mouths or talons. So, the act of being lifted off the ground or being restrained is scary for cats (and rightfully so) and a good reason for them to protest being handled that way.

Cats enjoy living life on their terms (who doesn’t?) and as you have noticed, will let you know what they like or don’t like. If cuddling is not your cats’ favorite activity, then trying to add that in for enrichment would be more for your benefit than for theirs.

However, there are ways in which to encourage them to spend more time in closer proximity to you. Try putting  a cat bed or a heated pad on the couch next to where you sit, or start clicker training to station on a mat near you or to accept a brief period of handling. For cats that enjoy being groomed, brushing them or using a back scratcher to deliver pets is another way in which to share mutual contact.

If either of your cats is comfortable with petting, but is hesitant to be picked up, you can start by placing your hand on your cat’s side and immediately releasing, and gradually work your way up to placing hands on both of her sides. Do this several time before attempting to pick her up and be sure to praise and reward her with a favorite toy or delicious treat. The first few times you pick your cat up, keep it very brief. Pick her up and immediately put her back down. With consistent practice – and lots of positive reinforcement – some cats may get accustomed to being held for short periods of time.

Hopefully, some of these suggestions prove helpful to you. Let me know if any work out.

Happy Mother’s Day

My mom passed away 27 years ago, yet Mother’s Day still is a bit of a bittersweet day. The pain of missing her has faded after all these years, but I still feel some sadness when Mother’s Day cards start showing up in stores, friends make plans to spend time with their moms, and restaurants offer Mother’s Day specials. Continue reading…

Mews and Nips: The Story Behind the Beckoning Lucky Cat


Maneki Neko, the famous “beckoning cat,” is a familiar sight for most cat lovers. Also known as “lucky cat” or “money cat,” it is said to bring luck and prosperity. It has been a popular feature in Asian businesses for centuries. National Geographic recently featured a fascinating article about the history behind this cat. While there are various origin stories, they all begin  in Japan. Visit National Geographic to read the article.

If you missed any of the stories featured on the Conscious Cat this week, here’s a recap: Continue reading…

1TDC™ Mother’s Day Sale: Save 15%

This post contains affiliate links*

If you’ve read this blog for a while, you’ve heard me talk about 1TDC™ and about how much I like this supplement. I don’t use the term “miracle” lightly, but I am using it for this product. Right now is a great time to stock up or try it for the first time: 1TDC is offering a 15% discount on all sizes today through May 11. Continue reading…

Giveaway: Win Raw Paws Food and Treats for Your Cats and Your Favorite Rescue


This giveaway is sponsored by Raw Paws Pet Food and contains affiliate links*

Our friends at Raw Paws have offered to give away $50 worth of either frozen or freeze dried raw food, freeze dried  treats,  supplements and meal toppers. This is a great opportunity for you to try their offerings. And they’re not just giving $50 worth of products to one lucky winner, they’ll also give $50 worth of products to the winner’s favorite rescue group or shelter! Continue reading…

Meet Penny, The Star of Penny: A Graphic Memoir


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When I received a review copy of Penny: A Graphic Memoir, a wonderful book about a tortie with a colorful imagination (review to follow on Friday,) I just had to learn more about the real Penny. Her human, Karl Stevens, is a graphic novelist and painter whose comics have appeared regularly in the New Yorker, Village Voice (where Penny initially premiered as a series), and Boston Phoenix, was kind enough to answer a few question for me. Continue reading…

The Truth About Dry Cat Food


Last updated April 2021

Grocery and pet store shelves abound with a dizzying array of dry cat food. For decades, kibble has been the preferred choice for most cat owners. After all, the bags say it’s “complete and balanced,” it’s easy to feed, and most cats seem to like it. Unfortunately, dry cat food, even the high-priced premium and veterinary brands, is the equivalent of junk food for cats. Feeding dry food to cats is no different than feeding sugared cereals to kids. Continue reading…

Sunday Quotes: Depth of Love


I’ve been a fan of Grey’s Anatomy from the very start and haven’t missed an episode. I’m still watching 17 seasons later. And while the show has had moments that have remained with me over the years, I never thought I’d actually use a line from the show for this column. Until the episode a few weeks ago, which featured the above quote. Continue reading…

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