A Heartfelt Thank You to All of You

Ruby-Ingrid

The words “thank you” feel like the two most inadequate words in the English language right now. As a writer, I’m supposed to have the perfect words for every occasion, but right now, words fail me to express my deep appreciation and gratitude for the outpouring of love and support I have received from all of you after I announced Ruby’s passing.

There were more than a thousand comments here on The Conscious Cat, on Facebook, and on Instagram, and they’re still coming in. Some of you sent me emails. I read every single one. I cannot tell you just how much it helped to hear how much my precious little girl will be missed not just by me and Allegra, but also by her many friends and fans. I knew she was popular, but I don’t think I really appreciated just how many lives my little girl touched in her short time on this earth.

Your prayers, loving thoughts and healing energy provide so much comfort as I struggle to wrap my mind around my loss. I hope you understand that I can’t respond individually to each of your comments, but please know every single one was like a warm hug for my broken heart.

Eventually, I’ll write about Ruby’s journey through her illness. I’m going to cover the practical aspects of caring for a cat with end stage kidney disease and cancer, and what I learned while providing hospice care for her. I’ll also share my emotional journey, both in terms of what helped me cope, and what didn’t work for me. At this point, I can’t tell you when I’ll start writing about all of this. Right now, it’s all too fresh and raw, and I need time to heal before I can tackle this.

Many of you have expressed how much you’ll miss Ruby Tuesday. As with everything else, I’m going to have to feel my way through how to handle her online presence going forward. For now, it’s going to be a moment by moment thing, but I can promise you that you will still see photos of Ruby, and of Allegra and Ruby together, in the future.

Ruby-desk

Ruby on my desk, ca. 2015

I’d like to think that my little girl was looking over my shoulder, reading all your comments and notes, with a big smile on her face and in her heart. And I’d like to think that smile wasn’t just about the bottomless bowl of tuna next to her…

30 Comments on A Heartfelt Thank You to All of You

  1. Robin glasgow
    January 14, 2020 at 12:04 am (11 months ago)

    Dear cat friend,
    I was so sorry to hear of Rubys passing. My heart breaks every time I hear of a precious kitty moving into kitty rainbow land. I dont get to my email very often but try to keep up with your words of wisdom. Like everyone else, when I read of Rubys illness, all I could think was ‘send prayers for healing’. I just read one of your early 2020 posts & Rubys name was said in past tense. Oh how my heart ached to see this. So! Here I am reading your ‘thank you’ note to all the messengers of good will regarding Rubys passing. I am so sorry. Everyday that my cats come through their wellness exams, everyday they drink lots of water, everyday they get through without symptoms of illness; I send words of thanks for blessings for my kitties with good health. And everyday Im with them I make count. We hoomans with our kitty boss’ are so lucky that they give us their love. Prayers that the wings of angels surround you during this loss. Lovingly, a conscious cat follower.

    Reply
  2. Lynda
    December 31, 2019 at 10:57 am (11 months ago)

    You’ve shown us all what a wonderful life you gave Ruby (and give to all your cats). I think Ruby knows this well, too.

    When our Jack came to the end of his life, it was the toughest decision we ever had to make but his life-quality was the most important thing. In the end, when we decided, Jack then decided to not make us go through that. He waited for us to wake up, we spent a few more hours together, then he peacefully went on his way. Jack made it easier on us when he chose to leave us while we were all cuddled together on the couch. It was so hard to go through but I felt so grateful that we were able to be there with Jack at the end of his life on earth and I know we’ll catch up with him again.

    I think our cats ARE in tune with us and when we are able to give them a great good life full of love and respect, they know and are grateful as well. I like to think that my Jack (and so many other cats who’ve known Ruby online and off) are with Ruby now, showing her all around the new digs, even the areas that have mountains of tuna just waiting for her!

    I wish you all the peace and love in the world, Ingrid.

    Reply
  3. Lynette Eggleston
    December 30, 2019 at 3:41 am (11 months ago)

    I first learned what grief meant when my beautiful Sylvie died suddenly from presumably a clot to the brain. Sylvie was a rescue cat- a truly beautiful silver tabby girl. I was (And still am) devastated.

    Our feline friends give us affection, joy, occasional frustration, and a reason to get up each day.

    Ruby was a truly gorgeous girl and her loss will be felt forever.

    It is ok and normal to grieve the loss of our friends.

    Thank you so much for sharing the life of the truly gorgeous Ruby with us ❤️❤️❤️

    Reply
  4. Jane Todaro
    December 30, 2019 at 1:32 am (11 months ago)

    Dear Ingrid,

    Take solace in knowing that you gave Ruby a wonderful life, and in knowing that she will live forever in your heart. That’s where she left her pawprints.

    With love and deepest sympathy,

    Jane

    Reply
  5. Cathy Keisha
    December 30, 2019 at 12:59 am (11 months ago)

    Sending more comforting purrz. We’re thinking of you and keeping Ruby in our hearts.

    Reply
  6. Tenley Ehrenverth
    December 29, 2019 at 9:54 pm (11 months ago)

    You, Ruby, and Allegra are in my thoughts and prayers. Sending you much love and light, Tenley and Olive Mae Poppyseed

    Reply
  7. Alice Kemp
    December 29, 2019 at 7:44 pm (11 months ago)

    I suspect many of your fans and Ruby’s have experienced similar losses so we understand what you’re going through. Also many of us, although maybe not now, will have a similar struggle to face and would very much appreciate knowing what worked for you and what didn’t. When you’re ready to share, of course. My little Gigi has kidney disease now so I don’t know how much time I have left with her, and she is the sweetest little kitty. And my first and most beloved kitty, Abby, had complete renal failure but I didn’t know it until it was too late. Like you, I wasn’t ready to let her go, but in the end, God’s will prevails. (I hope that doesn’t sound too trite. There was a time when I didn’t believe in God but events changed my mind. And there was a certain Baha’i prayer that helped me work through my grief over her loss.)

    Reply
    • Lynette Eggleston
      December 30, 2019 at 3:43 am (11 months ago)

      Loving thoughts are with you and the lovely Gigi

      Reply
  8. Timmy Tomcat
    December 29, 2019 at 6:09 pm (11 months ago)

    We hope our small comments have been of some solace.

    Reply
  9. Deirdre
    December 29, 2019 at 6:07 pm (11 months ago)

    As only true cat lovers know- losing a cat is one of the worst times of our lives.
    My sincerest sympathies.
    dbc

    Reply
  10. Maryann D.
    December 29, 2019 at 5:46 pm (11 months ago)

    I still miss and think of my sweet kitty who passed about 10 years ago. About 2 years ago another kitty came to my back door the same way as my previous kitty, so now we have another cat to love. Wishing you peace for the New Year and happy memories.

    Reply
  11. Jill C
    December 29, 2019 at 4:46 pm (11 months ago)

    I’ve loved following Ruby and Allegra over the years and was so sad to read about her declining health. My heartfelt condolences on your loss. I have lost many kitties over the years, and it’s always difficult. My sister lost her precious Peaches to the same disease two years ago. She was also the younger of her two cats, and it was so difficult. We never stop mourning our precious feline companions, but I know we will see them again in heaven. The peace of the Lord be with you.

    Reply
    • Patricia Sesoko
      December 30, 2019 at 4:26 am (11 months ago)

      I lost Jasper from Kidney disease. I got a new Jasper. I have lost my past cats. I will always love them. I lost Kraftwerk 2/1/19, age 15 and a half and Milo, 6/24/29 not yet 10 years from rapidly growing Cancer. I will always love them and all the cats I had. I got two brother cats which are named Kraftwerk and Milo

      Reply
  12. Jennifer Martinez
    December 29, 2019 at 2:25 pm (11 months ago)

    I’m still praying

    Reply
  13. Jennifer M. Plummer
    December 29, 2019 at 1:47 pm (11 months ago)

    I am so very sorry for the loss of a part of your soul, precious Ruby. I lost my 13-year-old rescue cat three years ago and I had never experienced that kind of emptiness before. I’ve had cats all of my life and they were all very difficult to loose, but for some reason this one was completely different. I’m a very outgoing, positive person and for the first time ever, I experienced real depression. Thankfully for only about 3 weeks. My two young children and my husband helped me cope the best that could but only time and prayer to Jesus gave me the respite from my overwhelming sense of loss. Minutes felt like days at times. I just tried to stay as distracted as I could and that helped. Staying busy was the key. I have been volunteering as an adoption counselor with cats at our local animal shelter for over 15 years so that is also where I found hope and happiness again. I also adopted another cat about a year ago and this ginger boy has overflowed our hearts with kitty love once more. Time goes on, thankfully, and so does our love for the amazing felines God created. God bless you and thank you for sharing your wisdom, informative vet info and your beautiful Allegra and Ruby with us.

    Reply
  14. maria
    December 29, 2019 at 1:39 pm (11 months ago)

    Sending you peace xo

    Reply
  15. caren
    December 29, 2019 at 1:25 pm (11 months ago)

    oh Ingrid you have me in tears. Complete tears. I apologize that I haven’t emailed yet….(but you know I’ve been commenting!) And…you know I am always, always here for you. ALWAYS. I am so happy to read that when you feel it is right for YOU, that Ruby will still be featured on your blog. I am certain you made a lot of people smile. Oh how I wish I could just sit in peace with you and listen to the memories that you would share about your sweet girl. Then I would be able to give you hugs of comfort in person xoxo

    Reply
  16. Brian Frum
    December 29, 2019 at 12:47 pm (11 months ago)

    We continue to send purrs, hugs and love your way. It’s so darn difficult but wonderful friends help the hurt a bit.

    Reply
  17. Debra
    December 29, 2019 at 10:53 am (11 months ago)

    I cried as I read your post. I really feel so sad for you and Allegra. I hope your sadness passes quickly while keeping the best of Ruby in your heart always.

    It’s so hard losing a pet. I never knew until I lost my (Tortie) Bamb,i 2 years ago. She was only 6 1/2 . I still feel like a part of me is missing. It’s tough.

    Reply
  18. Christine Rule
    December 29, 2019 at 10:10 am (11 months ago)

    Hello, Ingrid, I did not post earlier, because I knew you would have lots of comments, and, surprisingly, I felt a fair amount of grief myself when I read about Ruby’s passing. I used to have 3 torties, and hope to have one again. That day may come sooner than I had thought, as I had to have my 16-year-old kitty put down 2 days ago, completely unexpectedly. After a perfect checkup 2 months ago, the vet found a tumor on her lung, and her quality of life had already decreased so much that I couldn’t let her suffer more. It’s a different case, I know, as she had had a good long life. Anyway, you and Allegra continue to be in my prayers. Ruby was much too young to go, and I will miss her comments. Remember that you gave her the most awesome life she could have had. Hugs to you both.

    Reply
  19. Kat
    December 29, 2019 at 8:31 am (11 months ago)

    Ingrid and Allegra, know that you are not alone in your grieving and your road to healing…we all have been there at one time or another, and you both are in our prayers and thoughts every day. I kniow you are overwhelmed and it will take some time to get thru this loss, but one day at a time, be there for each other, you and Allegra, and keep happy thoughts every day of Ruby, know that she will be with you both always….one day at a time…..hugs and love always

    Reply
  20. Janine
    December 29, 2019 at 8:19 am (11 months ago)

    Sending you continued love and prayers. I may have never met you or your girls, but I feel very close to y’all because your blog is the first thing I read when I wake up each morning. I always love seeing their sweet faces and especially reading the posts where they talk. I feel I know y’all like family. Our pets are our children and losing one is like losing a part of yourself. I lost Nani 7 years ago and it still feels raw. Then losing Pono almost 2 years ago, was another real blow. I still cry when I think about them. Please take care of yourself and Allegra. Your friends and readers understand exactly what you are going through.

    Reply
  21. Darlene
    December 29, 2019 at 8:03 am (11 months ago)

    Cats and all animals are so precious! They are always in your memories and heart forever. They love unconditionally animals don’t judge people. Believe me I have so many lost furbabies they are all tucked into my heart. Have a great new years.

    Reply
  22. Deleta Yates
    December 29, 2019 at 8:00 am (11 months ago)

    Sending continued love, hugs, and comfort to you.

    Reply
  23. Sue Brandes
    December 29, 2019 at 7:48 am (11 months ago)

    Hugs to you. Have a wonderful day.

    Reply
  24. Anita Botman
    December 29, 2019 at 4:30 am (11 months ago)

    The conscious cat was a huge support for me when I lost Snoes. She is in the tortitude book and the book arrived in my letterbox on the day of her passing. Somehow I feel deeply connected to your two girls. Bibi who lives with me now is a bit like Ruby, the kitten like playful girl, while Snoes was a bit like Allegra, more ladylike and quiet, but with a huge heart. I also recognize the sadness in the picture of you and Allegra, but also the deep connection. There is only one right way to cope with loss and that is your own way, day by day, true to your own feelings. Lots of hugs <3

    Reply
  25. Joyce
    December 29, 2019 at 4:06 am (11 months ago)

    In your own time. In your own way.
    I don’t know that anyone expects anything different, and neither should you.

    Many of us would like to think we can walk the path with you to bring you comfort when needed and strength when you stumble.. But we also know that there would be many times along that road when you, and even Allegra, will stand still as if deciding which way to go next. Take the time to decide, even when the answer is just to close your eyes and stay right there awhile.

    So, in spirit we will take that walk with you. May we guide you when needed, and follow when you lead. But know that you are never alone, no matter where you are on that path. Reach out.. with or without words.
    Each of us will reach back.
    Neither of you are alone…
    I promise…

    Reply
  26. Nancy
    December 29, 2019 at 1:52 am (11 months ago)

    Does Allegra show any signs of grief? Most of my cats have not, but yours were so close. Hopefully you can comfort each other. I feel your pain, I lost 2 of my older cats suddenly, and 2 foster cats. Take Care!

    Reply
    • Random Felines
      December 29, 2019 at 1:29 pm (11 months ago)

      I think that is part of being in the wonderful online cat community. We may not always realize our impact, but we can feel the love.

      Reply
  27. Jackie Pasquini
    December 29, 2019 at 1:13 am (11 months ago)

    Ruby will always be watching over you from the Railing at the Bridge. Ruby will visit you and maybe channel through Allegra in a way that you will know it is Ruby. My Clark channels through my girl Chubby and I always know when it’s Clark. Thank you for sharing and my heart and prayers go out to you and Allegra and me and my Furkids love and miss Ruby too…xoxox

    Reply

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