Published by: Ingrid King. Last Updated on: October 31, 2022 by Crystal Uys

cats_grooming_each_other

It’s one of the sweetest behaviors guardians of multiple cats can witness: two adult cats grooming each other. Have you ever wondered why some cats do that, and others don’t?

The scientific term for this behavior is allogrooming or social grooming. A 1998 study conducted by researchers at the University of Southampton, UK and the University of Leiden, Netherlands, analyzed grooming interactions among a group of 83 domestic cats. The study shed some interesting light on this behavior.

Allogrooming is focused on head and neck area

The study found that most of the mutual grooming was directed at the head and neck area. This may also explain why cats love to be petted and scratched in that location, to the point of often even rotating and pushing their heads into human hands and purring, similar to what they would do during an mutual grooming session.

Why do cats groom each other?

Allogrooming tends to happen most frequently among cats who are related, or cats who get along very well. Mutual grooming may be a resurgence of a cat’s mothering instinct, although it is also seen in male cats.

The hierarchy of allogrooming

The study showed that higher ranking animals groomed lower ranking animals more often than the other way round. Groomers tended to adopt a standing or sitting posture, while groomees tend to sit or lie down.

But allogrooming is not all peaceful. Researchers found antagonistic behavior in 35% of interactions. Groomers showed aggressive behavior more often than groomees. Interestingly,  groomers often groomed themselves after grooming a partner. Since grooming is also calming for cats, that may be a self-regulating behavior. These results are consistent with the hypothesis that allogrooming in domestic cats may be a way of redirecting aggression.

Do your cats groom each other?

Photo ©JaneA Kelley, used with permission. JaneA and her cats write the blog Paws and Effect.

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151 Comments on Why Do Cats Groom Each Other?

  1. I have looked everywhere for an answer to this question with no luck: I have 2 male kittens, 5 month old littermates who clean each other’s anal area. Why do they do this and should I ignore it or make them stop? I’m afraid they might get sick from it.

  2. We have two litter mates that love each other. They are both boys. The long haired one is often grooming the short haired one. We have noticed tiny bald spots on the sort hair’s head. No redness, scabbing, or scaling. We are taking him to the vet to check, but I think it may be that his brother is over grooming him. What do you think?

    • It sure sounds like that’s what’s happening! I have to admit, that’s the first time I heard of a cat overgrooming another cat. I’ll be curious to hear what your vet says.

  3. I love watching my cats groom each other’s heads at the same time! It’s so sweet. I think Dinah is the higher ranking cat, though she indicates this only in subtle ways. We brought her home a few months before we adopted Mimsy, and she’s nearly a year older than him, but she accepted him into the family quickly. When they’re not simultaneously grooming, she will groom him but he won’t groom her. They have never borne or sired kittens, but maybe Dinah has some kind of maternal instinct anyway.

  4. It seems like my kitties only groom one another’s head , ears, and neck. I think it’s because they’re siblings and because those areas are difficult for one cat to groom on their own

  5. I have two cats, one neutered male 2 1/2 years and the other unspayed female 6 1/2 months old. They are completely unrelated and they both lie down together and groom each other every single day, multiple times. Can’t stand how cute it is. They even sleep with their paws wrapped around each other and faces buried in the others’ body! The older one is a lot bigger, but neither of them show dominant or aggressive behavior. They were both strays. The poor younger one was only 2 weeks old when we found her hiding under our car with her sister, whom someone else took in. Apparently someone just put the kittens in a box and left them in our parking lot mid-winter, no blankets or anything and were shivering and starving when I found them. I don’t understand how people can be so mean to little kittens. Ours is the runt I think but one of the most loving cats I’ve ever had. They both are so loving of each other and do everything together.

    • Sharpie is grooming Tiger right now and so I Googled on cat grooming and saw your nice comment. Thanks for rescuing these two kitties. Glad they get along. Sharpie and Tiger are also unrelated, but from the same colony in a dangerous high-car-traffic area, but that was home. Wish I could rescue more; I have seven now.

      • So Elvis is a 15 or so year old probably Adirondack male who came into our lives through our older daughter and no probably about it is very large. Totally non-aggressive but had no problem being King of the household despite the much larger if small for her species white lab whom he instantly sized up as a wimp and not very bright, both of which were true. But extremely loving and non-aggressive herself so it all worked out. From time to time another cat would find its way into the home and friends would bring a dog and Elvis’s policy of benign neglect continued to serve him well. Until Mina came along via same said daughter who had 3 others and needed Grama and Granpa to look after Mina, a much smaller grey sort who never really got the hang of meowing but chirped rather instead, which was in its way extremely endearing. And she neither understood nor accepted Elvis’s laissez-faire attitude toward her and wasn’t about to put up with it when they could, well, play. This annoyed him no end but she didn’t seem to care much. Eventually he kind of got into it and once he gave that inch she took the mile and now feels perfectly comfortable shoving her head in his face, especially but no exclusively when he’s sleeping leaving no choice but to wake up and groom her until usually he decides he’s done (and if she tries to slip away early one of his large paws usually reminds her who’s actually in charge) or they just curl up in one another (Mina’s faced warmly tucked into Elvis’s chest) and take a relaxing nap for a couple hours. Quite sweet indeed.

  6. So glad to find this page. I have a brother and sister, 4 months old. The boy inherited ringworm which appeared at 2 months old. I learned about it the day before picking them up. The girl would lick the areas which made me crazy. The boy is now healed after lots of treatment but the licking continues, now on both their parts. I feel it’s pretty incessant. The girl has long hair and the boy had his first hairball gagging today. I think hairballs are going to be a big problem going forward for both of them.

    No activity will replace the licking because they do it before naps. They sleep on my bed at night and the slurping noise kinda grosses me out. I’ve started to wear ear plugs to fall asleep. Any ideas for breaking the habit?

  7. I have two cats male (Stormy) and a female (Roxy) both are over 13 years old. Roxy will go up to stormy while he’s napping and get in his face then he’ll start grooming her. That will go on for a little while and then she’ll try to groom him and he’ll take like 5 seconds of it and then they’ll start fighting and she’ll hiss and bite him. Is this normal?

    • It’s not unusual for mutual grooming sessions to tip over into aggression. It can be dominance behavior, and clearly, Stormy does not appreciate it!

  8. I have a 7 year old female cat, Bella, and a nearly 7 months old male kitten, Sammy.
    Sammy came to live with us when he was 8 weeks old. I introduced them as adviced, through a closed door.
    Sammy always “attacks” Bella, preferably when she’s sleeping, eating or he pound on her when she’s coming from the litter tray.
    In return, Bella, hisses and growls at him.
    However, sometimes she grooms him and he’s purring when she does that.
    I always say they have a “love-hate relationship”.
    I just hope Sammy will stop “attacking” her as he gets older and that they will get along better then.

    • I have wondered for years about this one thing. I have seen every cat I have had do this and never understood why. I know that cats will groom mutually, but this is a particular part of the grooming. Whenever they groom each others ears, head or neck, it starts out fine and gentle. Then, at some point, the same thing happens every time. Something occurs which must be an invisible event because I never see the cause. Suddenly, this loving exchange turns into the angriest of fights. In a split second, for no reason apparent to me, they begin to fight viciously. It looks like true anger to me, but I never know the cause of the change in behavior. All of them do it. In reading, the answer I found that could be the best explanation was that one experiences overstimulation. That would explain why the cause seems invisible to me. I have always wondered why this occurs particularly with grooming of ears, head and neck.

  9. One of my kitten shes 4 months old likes to groom my 2month old puppy she holds her down and licks away or kind of nibbles on her. The puppy been a puppy gets over excited and the kitten just growls at her until the pup stops moving around and the licking continues!!! Idk why the kitty does that thou??

  10. My male cat Bobo grooms his sister Mimi under her tail, they are both neutered. What does it mean, is it more than just grooming and sort of like sexual. When he does it she does not really enjoy it. So she leaves. I am curious if it is like normal grooming?

      • We adopted a male cat. He did well first few weeks and a friend of ours brought over a kitten. We travel a lot so we thought it’ll be good that they keep each other company. First day the male cat hissed but eventually as days went on they started to get along. Now yesterday I saw that the Male car was aggressively holding down the kitten. I don’t know if it was because the kitten was bothering her but he started kicking her anal part. I didn’t know what that meant. All I could think of she’s still a kitten don’t do that! But I left it alone. But I was just curious. Male is fixed but kitten is not. They said she’s too small to get fixed.

        • That sounds like dominance behavior to me, Candra. You don’t mention the kitten’s age – is it possible that she’s going into heat?

  11. I’m glad I found this discussion! My son and family adopted brother and sister kittens. They were abandoned too young but a foster mom bottle-fed them until they were about 8 weeks old.
    Oh my gosh, they are so cute and delightful! I havent had a kitten for years and never had siblings. Almost make me want to abandon my resolve to not get anymore cats.
    But I digress – Anywsy, the male cat just has little nubs for the whiskers by his mouth and we couldn’t figure out what the problem was. The female must be chewing them off as she is the groomer in their relationship. I guess it will stop when he gets good and tired of it?

    • Yes, that can happen when cats groom each other. It probably doesn’t bother him. My guess is if it were to bother him, he would stop her!

      • When my two cats were kittens they used to chew off each others whiskers and do lots of grooming each other, themselves (and me occasionally!). They stopped biting the whiskers off on their own accord after they had matured and now both have beautiful whiskers.
        They are 2 years old now and still occasionally have a nibble but are quickly stopped by the other one!

  12. I live alone…well, not quite. A year ago, a most-dead kitty crawled up on my front porch, matted, full of fleas, with diarrhea and vomiting issues. Could not eat or drink…very dehydrated. Took him to the vet pronto, and he was given IVs and antibiotics, recovered totally to the point he is my “jock kitty”….strong muscular, neutered, too. Shiny black and very loving. Since then,Sammi has adopted four other kitties…..sigh…to have as house companions. All are now neutered. All are boys, and they all get along so very well with each other…biting noses, tails, ears and paws…each having found his own space, but loving to stalk and chase and mock-fight each other. Never a growl, never a hiss…all done in pantomime. Each with a strikingly different personality and “view” of the world. Each has his phobias, but the four of them manage to keep me fabulously entertained. I wake up laughing and go to bed laughing…those crazy four clowns! I could write a book about them…yes, they all groom each other…some, more often than others…no real “sibling” rivalry…and all are rescue kitties. Terribly spoiled kitties, no doubt! But NONE is a fat cat….overfed, waddling sack of fat! They are just too active, and I do watch how and what I feed them. Great companionship, for sure…..

  13. I have gotten another kitten as company for my older female cat because her brother died and she couldn’t manage being alone. While I was initially skeptical because she didn’t seem to like him very much (then again, she’s standoffish to pretty much anyone that isn’t me, even her brother when he was alive) and one thing that’s peculiar about my female is how she will sometimes just forcibly groom someone else. She literally grabs the kitten’s head sometimes, even if he’s in a different mood e.g. playing, and try to groom his head. She did that to her brother too, and he rarely if ever returned these free grooming sessions from her. Overall, he was also the dominant cat but I am pretty sure that between her and the kitten, she’s dominant as he’s hardly old enough to really claim any territory or space.

    While I am happy that she seems to like the new kitten so much that she’s willing to groom him despite that he’s sometimes such a pest to her (pesters her a lot about playing, may randomly attack or pounce or try to grab her even when she’s clearly not in the mood and she’s usually very cautious around him, rather prefers to observe him from a distance, ideally somewhere where she can perch), why does she do is so forcibly? It’s almost like she’s grabbing some prey and begins to lick, though the area is always neck/head. Is it just some weird mother instinct that she has? She can also sometimes cry out randomly at night, which is very reminiscent to the cries females do while in the heat though she’s spayed, luckily.

    • It could be a mothering instinct. It could also be an instinctual attempt to calm the kitten. Grooming can be a self-soothing behavior for cats, and perhaps the soothing qualities extend even to grooming another cat.

      • I’ve only seen it happen when they are lying together on the sofa. Sometimes he wakes up and walks up to her and wants to play so he tries to grab or bite her around the neck area, but she will just grab him in turn and try to forcibly lick him until he just wiggles free because he’s clearly not in the mood for it, lol. That’s why it seemed inconsistent with the allogrooming practice that is described here and I was wondering if it’s more just a quirk of hers but I guess it still represents some kind of affection from her side, so it’s all good.

        • Also, of course, sometimes she does it to him when he’s not in play mood at which point he seems very happy to receive it (purring).

        • I have an older female and I acquired a female kitten. I was surprised at how well they get along because my older cat has always hated other cats. But she does the same exact thing to my kitten. I think it’s just the older cats way of trying to get the younger to settle down

  14. My older male cat almost always grooms my younger female cat. A lot of the time, when she sees him sitting on my bed, she’s quick to jump on and nearly sit on him in hopes he’ll groom her. If he’s lazy, she tends to be the one to groom him. Haven’t see any acts of aggression or the likes, but both these cats have a decent temperaments.

  15. Our older cat does that to our younger cat. It looks funny and sometimes the younger one will get fed up and take off running!! She mostly doesn’t mind it though.

  16. I have a male Russian Blue & a female Calico (both rescued kitties) it seems that the female is more aggressive when it comes to grooming the male..She will groom him for a few minutes & then he wants NO more of it & a “tussle”gins…

  17. I adopted a second cat which is much younger than my current cat and also much bigger. I worried a bit about this but lately the younger, bigger cat has been grooming his older “brother” and the older cat loves it. I am happy they get along (except for the younger one’s friskiness) since the previous cat I had adopted was very mean to him on occasion.

  18. My 14 year old neutered male began grooming my 6 year old spayed female about 2 years ago. If she tries to move at all, he nips at her ears or neck. She is in heaven. I think he believes that he is her mommy. This inevitably leads to play fighting. He also likes to groom my 26 year old son’s shaved head. He also tries to wake me up in the morning by grooming my head, but I have very long hair and he ends up coughing and choking.

  19. My two cats are brothers do sometimes but they are usually laying together and usually it ends in play fights but sometimes they end up falling back asleep.

  20. Reading some of the comments has me curious now.

    Backstory: In February, we got a shelter cat (born in the shelter, so they knew she was a year and a day when we got her), our “Baby Shae” (my daughter Shay actually found her on a visit to the shelter). 3 weeks later, my younger 2 daughters headed for the bus stop, 5 minutes afterwards, oldest came back…with the cat. Just as I was about to ask her how she got out…my mouth opened, I glanced up…and there was our Shae, sleeping on a chair! We took the new cat to the vet, made sure she wasn’t chipped, had her tested for feline AIDS and Leukemia, both came back clean. The vet checked her over and stated “She’s an adult, but just barely.” So we asked, “A year…year and a half?” The vet confirmed. Note (don’t know if this will be important later), we also have a dog (also a rescue) who will be 10 this June.

    Anyway, about 2 weeks ago (having had them both for roughly a month and a half now), we discovered Artemis (named after the mighty huntress Goddess…and this cat will hunt anything, but loves her toys most) was grooming Shae. Since then we’ve noticed it’s always when Shae is sleeping…and she often doesn’t even wake up. Adorable, really. However, both of them when interacting (chasing each other, pouncing, even during the grooming if Shae does wake up) always have their tails swishing/puffed up. That being said, while they do chase/play, it’s never really been in an aggressive manner. Their claws have never come out when batting at each other or anything.

    We’ve held Artemis, asked her ‘Do you want to be a dog?” looking her in the eye…and every time we do it, she actually wags her tail! Both cats, when I break out the cans of tuna for lunch, will sit next to the dog and “beg” just like like the dog. Banshee (our dog) was trained to “shake”, and thinks if she shakes, she’ll get some of your food. The cats even now do this as well, offering their paw when they know I’m close to being done.

    Is the tail wagging just normal for some cats (since with mine it doesn’t indicate aggressiveness)? Are they somehow learning these behaviors from the dog? (Note: Both love to go for walks on their leashes as well…when I bring out the dog’s leash they look at theirs and meow to go along, too)

    • You’ve got some smart kitties! It sounds like they’re mimicking the dog’s behavior! A cat’s tail is an important part of their body language. Generally, a puffed up tail is a sign of aggression or fear, but in some cats, it can also be a sign of excitement. Here’s more information on feline body language: https://consciouscat.net/2012/03/19/feline-body-language/

  21. My 2 cats often groom each other but I am a little concerned that one of them now has bald patches on her face where the over cat is over grooming her. He has plucked out all of her whiskers above her eyes. How do I stop this?

    • One of my cats was losing a lot of hair lately so we took her to the vet. She said it wasn’t any kind of infection so she was over grooming herself, probably a result of stress. She recommended Feliway, a pheromone spray that we put on a bandana and tie around her neck, especially when she seems to be excessively grooming. It has worked wonders. I found it in a pet store. It’s pretty expensive but well worth it. I think you can get it on Amazon for cheaper.

  22. I have two adult male cats- 4 & 5 year olds, who love licking each other! One cat is always the clear leader over the other, and he’s the one to usually start the grooming, but they both clean each other. They also fight when grooming, and the groomee likes licking me when I scratch the lower back/base of tail area. How weird!

  23. My cats (male and female 1 year apart) get along well. Frequently groom each other. I noticed that the cat that does the grooming is always the cat that was napping (the one that gets groomed walked up to the sleeping cat to wake him or her up). Any ideas as to why they do this? Just interesting.

  24. My cats who are sisters always cuddle and groom each other it’s very cute❤️
    My cats are very loving gentle cats☺️

  25. I have a 1 year old cat. Born in October. Brought home in January. 2015. Cuddles thing ever. At the end of November 2015 I brought home another kitten. And it was like instant connection between them. The kitten will groom my older cat. And vice versa. If the kitten comes up while my older one is cuddling with me and starts grooming. My older one will get up and return the favor lol
    They are inseparable. They have to be together. Go everywhere together. Eat together. You will never find them alone. They are always right by each other. Sleeping beside. Or they will be curled up with each other. Or the kitten lying right on top lol. I’m guessing I lucked out. They absolutely adore each other.

  26. I have three cats two female one male one of the females And the male will groom each other a lot they hold each other and sleep together all the time however they will not let the other female around them she is the outcast. The first two were raised together though. The thirywas brought into the family many years later. ….

  27. My two cats groom each other often. Sometimes it leads to biting each others necks which seems to hurt. I try to break that up. The next day they will be fine again. Is that a dominance thing? My two puppies also try to get my older cat to groom them lol they sit very still when he complies. So cute.

    • They were not, Lauren, you’ll see them below. When you leave a comment on our site for the first time, your comment will be held for moderation. Much as we wish we didn’t have to do this, it does help us prevent spamming. In most cases, comments will be approved within a few hours. We rarely hold comments for more than 24 hours. We’re a small staff here, and Allegra, Ruby and I do get to be away from the computer for a few hours every day 😉

  28. I have 3 cats, all male. There are two from the same litter that are 3 years old and one that is 2 years old. I find that the 2 older cats typically tend to groom the younger, but after a few minutes he tends to start play fighting with them. They are all fixed, I’m wondering if anyone has any insight as to why this happens

    • It most likely has to do with the hierarchy of allogrooming, as explained in the article, Lauren. Your younger cat may not agree that he’s the lower ranking cat when he’s being groomed by the older one, and play fighting is his way to attempt to shift the “balance of power.”

  29. We have two cats. One over grooms the other to the point of grooming to bare skin on top of head. What can be done to stop it?

    • Wow, that’s an enthusiastic groomer, Gary! I would try distracting the cat who overgrooms the other one to cut the grooming session short. Use a toy, not treats, to distract. You don’t want to inadvertently reward the behavior.

  30. My 13 year old male cat will try to groom my female cat (6 years old and had her for 2 years) whenever he gets the opportunity. He will do it until her head is soaked if he gets the chance, but mostly she only puts up with it for under a minute then she swipes him fairly aggressively. Does anyone know what is going on here? Is he being ‘motherly’ (although male)? or is he being dominant? He seems genuinely upset/surprised when she stops him as well! He also tries to cuddle up with her whereas she is not into that, she does sit near him occasionally.

  31. Yup my two males sure do this & they aren’t even related. My oldest is a little over 2 years old & my youngest is just 4 months old. They get along wonderfully & can often be found together.

  32. I’ve got a 3yr old female and and 9 month old female called boots and laces and they groom each other frequently,but then half hour later they’ll be chasing each other around the house stalking each other and fighting

  33. Loved everyone of these kitty tales!
    I have a female orange tabby (age unknown but at least 8-10 years) who I adopted as serious fraidy-cat when a friend called and said YOU HAVE TO TAKE THIS CAT OR SHES GOING TO THE POUND. It took 6 month of living with food, water, and litter box in my bedroom for her to come out from under the bed. “Squishie Pants Poo Poo” and a 5 year old male I raised from a kitten, “Crackhead” who are called PooPoo and Bubby get pretty radical in their growling chases and play-fights. Bubby (boy) will try to groom Poo (older girl) and she will take a couple licks then the ears will go back and cause is on! No ones been hurt and they separate when I Hollar so am just closely monitoring.

    Should I be concerned? PooPoo has completely come out of her she’ll since we moved full time into an RV and will stand in middle of kitchen and scream at me if her dish gets too low to suit her. Amazing!!

    • From what you’re describing, it sounds like the chasing is just play, Karla. Watch their tales for cues: if they’re straight up in the air when they’re running, rather than swishing or puffed up, it’s a good indicator that it’s all in good fun.

    • I had a lovely exfoliating facial from Solly the other day. Had to keep my lips tightly closed though (and have a wash afterwards!)

      You know those fish places where you can have your feet “cleaned” – how about cat facials…..NOOOO don’t even think about it, poor felines x and actually, poor fish…

  34. We got Topher 1st and because he was extremely active, tiring us out, we got him a buddy 3 months later…Nancy. She is only 1 year younger than him. They both groom each other but Topher is usually the instigator. Nancy does lick back but Tophs does it the most. They snuggle together quite a bit too. We are so lucky they get along so well. When we went looking for a 2nd cat, I noticed how much Nancy seemed to act like Topher…his inquisitiveness with the world….that sealed the deal with bringing her home. They are best buddies! Yes both are fixed. No baby kitties here.

  35. I have two cats, both male. One 8 months old and the other 4 months old, they’re unrelated and both strays my family picked up. The older one usually initiates the grooming at the head but the younger one never likes being groomed (unless he’s half asleep).and usually bites the older cat’s neck before licking a random spot off the older’s body( neck, paw, back , balls,tail etc) the older would usually act aggressive and place his paw over the younger’s head.
    Sometimes, the younger initiates with multiple bites at random places( neck, tail, leg etc..) then licks. The older usually don’t mind early in that situation but would be aggresive after a while.

  36. I got a third cat because I thought one of my cats was lonely. This cat – cat #2 would always try to groom cat #1, but #1 wanted nothing to do with him. So I got cat #3 who has made attempts to groom cat #2, but I notice that there is always tension when they groom each other and they hardly ever play and never cuddle. Was I wrong that cat #2 was lonely? My cat matching NEVER works!

  37. I had three cats. Two Abys and one Maine coon. The Abys grew up together and my late Kolohe was the dominant cat having raised my other Aby. They were together for over 14yrs . Licking was definitely dominance behavior with Kolohe being the licker. He would not only lick Bert but stand over him in what appeared to be a mating stance. Brutus the Maine coon was ignored by Kolohe. Now that Kolohe is gone I thought I would see Bert become the dominant cat and initiate the licking. He has not. He often walks over to Brutus puts his head down and asks for licks from Brutus who proceeds to lick him for short periods. My question is Is Brutus now the dominant cat? He’s only 3 but huge. Bert is 15 now and the most brilliant cat I’ve ever known. Is Bert manipulating Brutus. Does Bert not care who’s dominant? Is this simply a learned behavior from yrs of living with his older brother?

    • I’ve found that while the head cat is usually the oldest after the previous passes away, it’s not always true. It seems to depend on who’s most suited to the job, and sometimes who’s actually willing to put up with the job. My last head cat got the job when all the older cats died within a year, and we got a kitten to help us all with our depression. He made a good daddy, but a lousy leader. The kitten, now 6, believes she’s a queen, and runs the place.

  38. I have 5 cats in my home, 2 mature females, Emily, a 7 year old tabby and Jazzy a 4 year old Siamese. Then I have 3 adolescent kitty boys, brothers who were feral and I rescued from the bitter cold last winter. They are a year old. Two solid white, Titus and Thomas, and Tobias has a very unusual coat. He appears to be sleek black but in the sunlight his gray tiger stripes show up. Then when you part his fur he is white underneath. Four of the five groom each other lovingly, it’s the Siamese who poo poos the idea. She allows grooming or even occasionally participates in grooming the others, but gets overstimulated too quickly and usually ends up fighting whoever’s trying to do the grooming. We call her grumpy girl! Many times I’ve had my face or hands sandpapered with their tongue’s, or I mean groomed, haha. It’s actually quite relaxing for me to see them loving on each other.

  39. My (6 lb) small cat grooms both me and my (13lb) large cat. Usually this takes place upon my awakening from a night’s sleep. It’s adorable.

  40. My cat grooms me when I pet him. Some times he gets a little rough, so I just move him off me then he calms down. Is this a dominance thing, or does he just want to show how he cares?

  41. My two male cats who are unrelated groom each other and then they start wrestling. Not sure if this considered play or just being aggressive.

      • My 5 year old male Rusty was the single kitty in the household. Last year I adopted 1 yr old female named Merrill. It was alittle rough introducing them but within 2 weeks they were grooming each other. They do it all the time and sometimes the male gets alittle too playful (I hope he`s being Playful)

  42. I have 3 cats…Puff (16), Samsam (10) and Ralph (3). Ralph and Samsam constantly seem to groom each other, with it usually being Ralph who initiates the grooming. Puff just won’t be bothered to groom anyone but herself! She actually will hiss at each of the other cats if they try to groom her! Can’t tell you how many times the boys have been tried and been shot down!

  43. My female cat grooms me every night at bedtime. Once she’s finished ‘bathing’ she cuddles in my arm and goes off to sleep. She won’t sleep until I am bathed first. What’s this all about.

  44. Our 6 year old cat, Kosmo, raised our 3 year old cat, Tippi. When Tippi became an adolescent, Kosmo stopped being his daddy and began mildly treating him like a rival. Now Kosmo performs what I call ‘bully bathing’ where he grooms Tippi and it appears to be an act of dominance or aggression. They also groom each other in a sweet manner, though less often.

    • I have two brothers/siblings. I find them always cudlling, sleeping, and grooming each other. I don’t think it’s a dominance thing with them. However, when I rescued an abandoned kitten, they didn’t accept him immediately. Eventually they taught him the household rules, but he’s now the aggressor because he cannot be totally accepted by the brothers. But all co-habitate.

  45. Chewy is 2 now and Jake is the older “Uncle”. He taught Chewy how to fight with play, but as Chewy got older, made sure that Chewy knew that he wasn’t the top cat.
    Jake has always groomed Chewy, (Yes, the head is the place!), and if Chewy objected Jake would aggressively hold him down until he was finished. Jake still grooms and though Chewy is big enough to effectively object, he doesn’t any more. 🙂

  46. My two males like each other but their grooming sessions change in intensity and as to who grooms who. One kitty will start, after a little bit the other one is like, “OK, my turn” and it starts out very sweet. After about 3 minutes of this back and forth, there’s a gentle nip from one, then a bite from the other, and before I know it it’s OFF TO THE RACES, as they zoom around chasing each other in play. . .so I guess its like a little warm up, to their game. I’ve just adopted a little stray. . .we’ll soon see how #3 fits into this formula!

  47. I have 2 female cats Violet and Elsa who are sisters. They always groom each other. Funnily enough, it’s always the head and neck that gets groomed. I assumed it was because its areas they can’t reach themselves, so they asked each other for some assistance!

  48. Our 3 year old girl and our 1 year old boy are getting along. Our boy has started to try and groom our girl, but she usually get’s a little irritated and gets up and leaves. She’s pretty spoiled and I think still adjusting to him even after 8 months or so.

  49. I have 2 kittens. A boy who is 7-months-old and a girl who is 5-months-old. They both groom each other all the time, but my boy definitely grooms my girl way more than she grooms him. He would usually just lay sort of on top of hair and licks her ears, face and neck. Then they nap together once they are done grooming each other; although sometimes my boy gets a little aggressive but she just hisses and he stops and continues grooming.

  50. This allogrooming behavior actually makes a lot of sense. Cats groom in order to maintain the insulating qualities of their coat, which improves survival. They can’t reach their head or neck, however, so they make do by using their paw, but this isn’t as effective as using the tongue, which is designed for just this purpose. If cats in a social group groom each others’ head and neck, this will improve survival for the group.

  51. ]I have 2 Burmese kittens (about 10 months old now) brother and sister – both neutered. They are so affectionate and tactile. They groom each other all the time 🙂 They have just started grooming my face and hair! It’s actually not very pleasant as their tongues are quite rough. Is this normal behaviour?

  52. One of my girl cats does this to a stray I recently rescued! The girl cat’s brother also usually cleans the rescued stray (and the girl cats, too), but he usually ends up biting the rescue and getting rough.

  53. I have 2 sister kitties who are about 1 3/4 years old. This morning I noticed that the fur had been licked off right underneath the chin of one but doesn’t appear to be red or irritated yet. Is there something I can put on it so her sister doesn’t clean her for a bit?

  54. I have 2 cats: one male and one female, both are fixed. The female usually grooms the male. He lets her do this for about 5 minutes, but then he has enough. They seem to get along pretty well, but I have noticed lately that when she gets near me he will do a weird meow and then he will grab her under the neck and won’t let go until I get him off her. He doesn’t break the skin, but it worries me. Do you all think this is a problem?

    • It could be a problem and the precursor to aggression. Since this is a new behavior, I would get him checked out by your vet to rule out any medical issues first.

  55. I just found this article as I watched my little pair of kitties ferociously groom each other at the foot of my bed! Unfortunately it leaves just as many questions as it answers, as my little guy (Pouncival, he’s about 1 1/2 years) tends to lay down while his ‘sister’ Bristol (a two year old tortie) prefers to stand over him, and usually initiates the cleaning – but after a few minutes, they always end up in a grooming contest that hits a peak when Pouncival grabs her face and just licks all over until she gets fed up and mopes away. He’s definitely the aggressor at the end but she seems to be the head honcho in that she usually starts the dominant behavior and stance to begin with! I want to say she’s taken a mother role with him, he came to us as a small, roughly six or seven week old kitten abandoned by his own feral mother (or so the vet kind of figured) when she and I were having a typical tortie conversation – and he joined in through the open window! Took us a few days of luring him in with wet food, but on the third he was waiting by my door and I just scooped him up – and he’s been both our shadows ever since. 🙂

  56. Just reading this for the first time. My girls Zesty and Topaz would occasionally groom each other, always on the top of the head, and 9 times out of ten after being so sweet to each other, they would start fighting, not sure why one was always followed by the other.

    • This does seem to happen with quite a few cats who groom each other. I think it’s similar to petting aggression: they reach a point where they’re overstimulated, and fighting is their way of dealing with the excess energy.

  57. I have two cats, Gizmo a 4 year old male and Mia a 11 month old female, they both groom each other though Gizmo tends to do it more so, peaceful to watch.

  58. I have two male cats. One for them licks the other alot. The one who licks is the older cat but is smaller due to hurting his leg when he was a year old.

    • I have 2 male cats the same age but unrelated and they will usually give each other baths before trading sleeping spots (2 chairs we have in the living room-1 by a furnace which is usually the one they do this over). My fiance and I make jokes that when the younger (by 1 month) goes over to trade that it’s their way of saying please. 🙂

  59. We have a father/son male pair that are extremely close. They frequently groom each other and get upset if there’s a closed door between them. We also have a female that will allow the younger male to groom her, but she will not reciprocate. (She’s always been a little odd: she doesn’t play, and as a baby when her littermates would bop her on the head she would scrunch up her face and cry. The younger male adores her but he certainly doesn’t get much from her in return.)

  60. I have a 2yr old neutered male and we just got a 10 week old female 2 wks ago. After 5-6 days they were chasing eachother all over the house playing. I’ve noticed that in the middle of playing he will basically pin her down, lick a few times, then gently bite her, lick her and then go on playing. I was trying to figure out if he is just displaying dominance or if he “adopted” her, or both. What do you all think?

    • It could be both, Aleza. As long as it remains play and doesn’t tip over into aggression, I wouldn’t worry about it.

  61. I have Gizmo and Lexi who are brorhers aged 5 months and Bonnie an unrelated female of nearly 6 months. They all groom each other and often all sleep together. The brothers are particularly close and frequently cuddle each other in their sleep. My older cat Candy grooms Gizmo and Misty who is 2 and a half will play with him. Strangely they are not keen on the other 2.

  62. As I’m reading through all these lovely stories here in the comments, two out of my seven cats are lying in the bed with me, grooming each other. Cali, the female, is 4 years old and the mother to 5 of my kitties (she wandered up pregnant, adopted us, had her litter… we planned on keeping one, two at the most, of her kittens, but we refused to take them to a shelter and while we adopted out two, the others never got placed, so now we just have a large, but loving clowder!) and she grooms EVERYONE, including our oldest male Chevy, who was here before she adopted us. Anyway, her and her son Charlie are grooming each other as I type! She is definitely the “aggressor.” Every few licks Charlie gets a bite to the face or a smack on the nose. He doesn’t seem to mind though.. just takes his “spanking” then goes right back to grooming Momma. The rest of the kids groom each other often, though I’ve never seen them be aggressive like Cali is. I haven’t noticed any “official” pairings either, they just seem to groom whoever is closest when the mood strikes. Sometimes they’ll have a grooming party, with three or more kitties involved! Charlie is the only one that grooms me. He and I are probably the closest though out of all my babies. Don’t get me wrong, I love each and every one of them… but Chuck and I just have a special bond for some reason. Maybe because he’s slept ON my head every single night since he was a kitten?

  63. My three all groom each other but the two females seem to groom each other more intensely than they do with my little boy! The two youngest groom us but they both had rough beginnings to life, our gorgeous boy was with us from about 4 weeks and the other was severely neglected until we got her at 5 months so we think it’s a safety thing, we were the first safe place they had. Our eldest, just turned one, had a fab start with a fantastic mum cat and a very safe environment and she is much more independent that the other two, and has taken them under her wing and taught them all the skills they were missing even though she was only a baby herself.
    She taught our boy to wash, cover his litter and play, it was an amazing thing to watch her take over as his mum.

  64. I have 5 cats. Typically 4 of the 5 only groom the oldest male, 13 yrs old, named Sparky. I am thinking it is a hierarchy behavior because he is definitely the Alpha of the group. The youngest who is 1- 1/2 likes to aggravate and pick on 3 of them but never the oldest, guess he understands that’s the boss and not to be messed with. Quite interesting situation to see.

  65. I have a male and female and the male will always groom the female on the head, ears, neck..but then sometimes attacks her ..but I can say that I don’t ever remember seeing her groom him

    • Oh my!!
      You just described my two exactly. Sometimes their “play” can get a little rough but never injury or bloodshed so I just keep close eye out.

  66. I have two girls, a year apart. The oldest, Athena, generally initiates grooming sessions with her “little sister” Dove, but they lie in a yin/yang formation, and Athena will pin Dove down and groom her very vigorously. Then after she’s satisfied that her little sister is perfectly spotless, she lets Dove gently groom her face and neck. It is the sweetest thing ever. The only time they ever fight is when Dove tries to take Athena’s sleeping spot on my chest. Then ‘Thena will get extremely upset and hiss and spit at Dovie. Their grooming has always been of great amusement to me, and they are so sweet when they start going at it. But they only ever do it at night on my bed while I am reading a book.

  67. My 16 year old male will occasionally clean the back and top of my 15 year old female. And she will sometimes groom my 11 year old female. But none of them will groom my 7 year old female. And as much as she grooms herself, she doesn’t clean her behind!

  68. What information is available concerning mutual grooming among cats and dogs. My cat and dog groom each other regularly with the cat displaying more dominant behavior. The dog is not selective when grooming the cat, but the cat generally grooms the dog’s face, preferring the eyes and ears. Is this normal behavior? (Cat is female, black shorthair and fiv+ adopted at 2 weeks old introduced to dog immediately; dog is a female pit bull terrier introduced to cat at six months old.)

    • The information provided in this post is all I’ve been able to find, Roswalien. As the article mentions, mutual grooming does seem to focus on the head and neck.

  69. My two ginger boys are brothers from the same litter. They love to groom each other and occasionally it turns into the tootsie roll pop commercial. How many licks does it take to get to the center? One, two, three….. BITE! LOL!

    My crazy, tiny calico girl likes to groom my hair. With her I often wonder if it a loving thing or she is just tasting me to see if I am ready to eat yet. 🙂

    • Hmmm…you might be on to something with the taste testing! There is that urban legend, after all 🙂
      I can visualize the Tootsie Pop scenario. hahaha.

  70. My beloved Fred (rip) and Monkey would groom each other. Although older than Fred by about a month, Monkey is a petite Siamese, and Fred was a big cat (not Maine Coon big but definitely not a pushover!). Monkey would start licking Fred’s head, and he would lie on the floor with a look that said, “Yes, you may continue.” After a minute or two of contented washing, he would suddenly rear back as if to say, “Just what do you think THAT was all about!” hahaha And within a fraction of a second they would be rolling around the floor like a Tasmanian fur ball! I still have Monkey (and have now added Callie, George and Loupy), but I don’t notice anyone grooming each other anymore. I’m sure hoping for future “fursticuffs” (as long as they’re just playing, of coruse). 🙂

  71. I have all male cats and they are not big groomers of each other. And a lot of times the other will slap or nip after a couple of licks. Never noticed if they lick after the other groomed them. I used to have 2 males that went to the bridge that loved to groom each other. Those two we very close.

  72. I have brother and sister Ragdolls. The male grooms the female and then he attacks her. She never grooms him. Both of them love their rubdowns from us though and by rubdowns, I mean their whole body, even the stomach!

    • Mine do so also… the male grooms the female and not always, but often attacks her afterwards… I think he does so to get her out of my bed 🙂

  73. Our two littermate cats have never groomed each other; they barely hang out together at all. However, every once in awhile, I’ll see Angel try to lick Chucky’s noggin, then a smallish fight begins.
    And about Sue’s cat bringing home a kitten, I watched a feral male take over baby-sitting duties for two kittens several times. Mama went off to another part of the yard, while Hobo played with the babies. He pretended to be surprised when they jumped him from behind the plants, and he monitored their every movement in the garden. I have photographic evidence too! Neither of the kittens looked like their babysitter, so I think he was just being a pal. He originally escorted Mama to our food bowls, like a gentleman taking his date to the theatre, when she was already heavily pregnant…we had never seen her before. All were TNR’d a month later, and Mama is still with me after five years. Hobo, the baby-sitter, moved down the block to live in someone else’s yard, and the kittens were taken in by a neighbor.

    • Aw, I love these stories! I love the “gentleman taking his date to the theatre” image. I can hear him now…”Nothing but the best neighborhood dining for you, Babe!” 🙂

    • That’s very interesting about the Feral male, maybe in a colony they take on babysitting duties like Meerkats:) at least they were all familiar with one another.
      This little kitty was a totally random cat he picked up on his nightly stroll. We think Uncle Toby may have looked like the mother cat (although not smell like her )who had
      possibly been killed, it was just so strange because Spitty would not leave his side, she curled up with him, ate with him. I named her Spitz because she was so fierce, first time I tried to pick her up she bit straight through the nail bed on my finger, it was very painful, she also drools when she sleeps 🙂

  74. Gordon and Jasmine groom each other at least once or twice a day. Either one can initiate it. What’s so hilarious is that they go at it so “industrially” that it appears that their tongues get tangled up. Sometimes, when they are finished, they fall asleep next to each other. At other times the grooming leads to chasing and play fighting. Jasmine will screech and holler when Gordon pins her down, but I notice she’s always ready for another skirmish later on.

  75. Oh yea. Rikki loves to be groomed by Lucy. But then Lucy starts that play fighting stuff and the warm and fuzzies go away.

  76. I have a male 10 year old cat that decided our house was nicer than his and moved in a few years ago. One morning after being out all night I went to let him in and he had brought home a small calico kitten who was about 10 weeks old, she would not leave his side and she was totally feral, he groomed her and looked after her just like a Mummy cat. Today she is 16 months old and still goes to her Uncle Toby for a wash, it’s very sweet. She is domesticated now but it took me three months before I could touch her and hold her for thirty seconds, she now sleeps on my bed 🙂
    I have five cats
    and these are the only “bonded pair” even the vets are astounded that Toby did this.

    • That is SO much nicer than being brought a lizard! Great story. It started my morning with a smile. Thanks!

      • We found Spitty kitties brother living in the drain and he also joined the family six months later, but he only grooms me:) …
        ..he thinks I’m his mummy cat now, but he was also very feral, he runs from everyone except me. He does touch noses with the other cats, his name is Slinky Malinki. Glad you liked my story about good old Uncle Toby, he sometimes grooms Slinky but not as nicely as his Spitty Kitty 🙂

  77. I have a “coonish cat” who is grooming himself constantly!! He has the softest fur ever; his name is “Toaster”. He has quite the personality!

  78. When Binga grooms Boodie, it’s often the prelude to a full-on Boodie beating! Oddly, Boodie does not mind all that much (at least when it is over), and the two of them can often be found napping together a little while later. Me? I only let Binga get a few licks in and then I’m don’t like her doing it anymore.

    • My cat grooms me, specially when i try to sleep. She particularly likes my hair, but directs her grooming to my face, armpits or hands. Even though I have a smaller cat, but she seems not very fond of him.

      Why does she do this? It’s just a way of showing affection or she’s trying to calm me?

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