I frequently get questions from readers who are looking to add a new cat to their family. How do I find a cat that will be a good match for my cat? Should I get a cat who’s the same age as my resident cat, or should I get a kitten? Male or female? Will the resident cat accept the newcomer?

Whether it’s a companion for a single cat, or whether another cat in the household has passed away and left a void, adding a new family member is a big decision.

I wish I could give you definitive answers to all of these questions, but the reality is that while you can do some homework, ultimately, each cat’s unique history and personality will determine the outcome.

Ideally, we’d all like our cats to be best buddies who play together, groom each other, and snuggle together. Some cats will bond like that, others will get along but may not ever become close friends, and some cats are confirmed only cats who will never accept a companion. While there is no guarantee that two cats will get along, there are things you can consider when adding a new cat to the family.


A cat close in age to your resident cat may be a better match than one that’s much younger or much older. Young cats do better with a playmate close to their own age. They will get frustrated with a senior cat who prefers napping to playing.  Conversely, a senior cat may not appreciate a young cat or kitten disrupting her golden years.

A word of caution if you have an elderly cat who is ill: I do not recommend bringing another cat into the home until your resident cat has passed. The stress of a new addition to the family may aggravate your older cat’s condition, and could actually shorten his life.

Kitten or Adult

Kittens do better with other kittens or young cats in the household. They need to have an outlet for all that energy, and if they’re paired with an older cat, both cats may be very unhappy. This is the reason why many rescue groups adopt kittens only in pairs. Adult cats may do better with another adult close to them in age, or slightly younger.


Consider your resident cat’s temperament. If you have a timid cat, she would probably do better with a laid back, calm, mellow cat. A dominant cat will most likely do better with a self-assured, calmer cat. If you’re fortunate enough to have one of those happy-go-lucky cats who love everyone, she will probably get along with a cat from either end of the personality spectrum.

Temperament and personality can be hard to detect if you meet a cat in a shelter. Most cats are stressed in that setting and won’t show their true personality until they’ve been in a new home for several weeks and sometimes even years.


Size can make a difference, especially if you have a slightly dominant cat. The theory is that cats of similar size and build will accept each other more quickly. Try to choose a new cat who is the same size or slightly smaller than your resident cat.



Male (neutered) cats are generally believed to be more accepting of other cats, both male and female. Even though this has not been my experience, female cats may not get along as well with each other. I personally believe that gender, other than as a personal preference of the guardian, is the least important consideration when it comes to choosing a good match for your resident cat.

Of course, for many of us, a new cat just seems to find us. Or we fall in love with one on Petfinder, or at our local shelter. And even though on paper, the new cat may be a bad match, some of the best feline friendships arise out of these seemingly random meetings.

Regardless of how you choose your new feline companion, introduce the newcomer slowly. Proper cat to cat introductions will go a long way toward ensuring harmony in your home.

201 Comments on Choosing a Companion for Your Cat

  1. I have been feeding a stray for over 2 years who just recently felt comfortable enough to come inside my home to eat. She has allowed me to pet her for a year or so and can be very affectionate although nervous. She has not seemed aggressive with other cats.

    Well, I had a 100% indoor cat for 12 years who was recently put down and I’d like to have a “replacement” for her. So if I adopt a cat for the purpose of being an indoor cat I wonder if I’m making a bad choice. I could keep the stray in a back room when she eats and then maybe see gradually if they are OK together. From what the shelter tells me the one I may adopt is very relaxed and might even make a good therapy kitty. I don’t want to have to fight her to make her stay in if they become “friends” but I can’t imagine trying to keep the stray from going out so some dilemma here.

    I can say, however that when I had the indoor only one who I had put down, I also had an indoor-outdoor older cat until he passed and he would head for the door first thing in the morning and she would stop short of the door, she really didn’t care to go out. So maybe the two now would work out one way or another but looking for other’s opinions.

  2. I have an about 6 year old rescue DLH/Maine Coone Mix, Aubry – she’s pretty tiny (7.6 lbs), so definitely can’t be full MC. She’s a more timid cat, and is scared of most people, but adores me and has grown to love my partner (after years). About 3 months ago, we lost my boy kitty (who was about 5) unexpectedly to what the vet thinks was cardiomyopathy. The two of them were close, and so after thinking about it and worrying she might be lonely, I brought home a new kitty 3 weeks ago. He’s supposedly 2, but acts maybe a little younger and still has that very slim “teenager” body to my eyes. He came from a cat café environment where he was not aggressive and not one of the dominant cats – got along with everyone, and tended to be on the more submissive/sweet side.

    It’s been going really well all things considered for the last 3 weeks, but all of a sudden (especially the last few days), it seems like the new boy is either bullying Aubry or just trying to play rough with her and she’s not feeling it. It definitely isn’t always “play” fighting due to some of the growling, hissing, occasional cries I’ve heard. We had already gotten to the point where whenever I was home or awake, both cats had free roam of the house, and I was starting to consider leaving him out overnight as well to see how it went, but now they seem to be clashing more.

    Is there any reason why there would be suddenly conflict between them? They had been seeming to get along very well up until this point aside from the occasional warning hiss from the resident cat if he got too much in her business at first. I’m wondering if he’s bored, trying to assert dominance, both, or something else? I’m not sure what I can do to encourage them to get along, since I had thought it was going really well. I previously fostered quite a few cats (about 50 total across the whole period I fostered, 4-5 at a time), so I’m not totally green at this.

    Does he maybe need another younger cat who will play with him more? Is this just something that will hopefully work itself out with time? I obviously want everyone to get along (at least tolerate each other, even if they aren’t best buddies immediately), and for both cats to feel comfortable and safe. It’s not a small house, either – 2100 sq ft, so I don’t think resource competition is the problem; neither have shown any food aggression and have been peaceably eating together for quite some time.

  3. I have a 4yr old male Maine coon and a 3yr old female domestic. My Maine coon is very playful and commands attention. My female is a bit more timid and happy with just calm play with toys. My male tends to be a boldy and chases my female and sometimes jumps on her and runs away. He grooms her and she him. They lay on the bed together and they don’t fight. I was thinking if getting a kitten and hope that the new baby will a nice companion to both of them…playmate for my boy and a snuggler for my girl. I just don’t know whether I should be adopting a male or a female. Any thoughts? TIA

  4. Hi, so you still have the orange tabby? I have a male orange tabby, just turned 2, and we’re looking for a companion for him. I’ve recently gone back to work and he’s very lonely at home by himself. Another tabby would be perfect!

  5. I have a beautiful 4 year old Russian Blue male cat – and I have just started thinking about potentially getting him a companion cat – maybe a Bengal kitten. He’s always had my attention – would it be good for him to have a companion cat? If yes, a male or female would be better?
    He is very chill, and loves to be petted by mostly me (sometimes by other family members).

    I feel like he would be ok as a single cat, but i worry he might be lonely sometimes.

  6. I have a 17 yr old tonkinese cat who has to be near me all the time. He cries if I’m not. He lost his companion about 3 yrs ago. I am thinking of getting a 11 yr old cat to be his companion. What do you think?

  7. I have a 2 year old male cat that I rescued when he was around 2 months old. He has lived with a large dog the same age as him and occasionally has contact with my parents senior cat when I visit them. Him in the dog got along great and played when they were young, but as the dog got bigger he lost interest. They still got along okay, just less playing. When ever he has contact with the senior cat, all he wants to do is play, however the senior cat obviously has no interest. I am looking to get a new cat and would prefer a young kitten again, however am wondering if a cat the same age would be best? He is still pretty playful at his age but he is a relatively large cat, so I’m not sure if he would do well with a small kitten. I am also wondering if a male or female cat would be a better fit. The senior cat is also a male, so he has never had any contact with a female cat, however the dog he lived with was a female. Any advice is helpful, thank you!

    • I just last week adopted a beautiful 7-9 mo. old orange short hair tabby who is loveable, cuddly neutered, totally vaccinated and I now find myself allergic to. He would make a wonderful companion for your 4 year old. He loves to play, he’s litterbox trained, beautiful and loving, really. Please contact me asap.

      • Do you still have the tabby? and are looking for a home?
        I have a Russian blue who’s 5 years looking for a friend for him. I used to have a Female Tortoiseshell Tabby who was lovely. she passed 6 years ago and I would love another.

  8. Hi Ingrid,

    I rescued a kitten in July who is now 7 months old. I will be moving for graduate school soon and I am trying to decide if I should find a companion for my cat. I am happy with one cat for now, but I don’t want her to be lonely. She warms up to people and spaces well after being given a bit of time to adjust. I think there is a good chance she would get along well with a companion. My question is if you think it would be a bad idea to NOT get a companion? Do you think she would be very lonely, and not socialize well in another 3-5 years if I do not get one now? Mostly, I don’t want her to be sad and lonely when I am busy!

    Thank you!

    • There’s no way to predict whether two cats will get along. Your best bet is to follow the tips in this article, and introduce the newcomer slowly and gradually. While it sounds like your kitten will adapt well, if she has an enriched environment and you can spend lots of time with her, she will probably also do well on her own.

  9. So I have a 2 and a half year old female Persian / Norwegian Forest cat mix whom I adopted at 3 months old, since then she has had very little interaction with other cats because I’ve lived in the outskirts of the city. She has been with a small dog but they did not get along at all, no fighting, just stares and hisses. My friend recently found a litter of kittens and their mother and has taken them in for care, it seems the mother does not have an owner, but I’ve met her and she seems pretty friendly. She is pretty small in comparison to my cat and has much less fur making her look almost half the size.
    I’ve recently moved to the city and my cat has met the neighboors cat and they do not get along, even after 6 months they still hiss at each others every time I see them close. I really want to take in one of the kittens that my friend is caring for, they’re only 3 weeks old now and they don’t know their genders yet. My cat is generally very friendly to her owners and gets along with other people after a few vists. I’m wondering if it’ll cause a problem if I introduce this new kitten to our home. I really want to get more cats and since reading this article it seems like I should try and do so while my cat is still young, but I’m afraid they won’t get along at all. My cat can be a bit territorial and always hisses at cats that get close to our house.
    I also don’t know if it’s a problem that my cat is a mix breed and the new kitten will be a small housecat as I’ve read that they’re pretty different from proper breeds.

  10. I rescued a kitten when he was 5 weeks old, a Harvey rescue. He is now 2 yrs old, he can be aggresive and doesn’t like to be picked up or much less petted. He is vendictive and likes to bite. I am considering taking in a 5yr old female, I have been told that she is very sweet and loves to be petted. What are the chances of my male cat getting along with her?

    • There’s never a guarantee that cats will get along. If your 2-year-old already tends to be aggressive, I’m not sure he’s going to take to a newcomer easily. If you decide to move forward, introduce the new cat very slowly and gradually.

      • In my experience male cats get along with each other more often than a male/female pair, or a f/f pair. This comes from someone whose has 30+ cats over the years. The males snuggle and play with each other, while the females hiss and want to be left alone by their cat siblings. Of course there’s exceptions to this. My cat Goldy was the ultimate alpha male cat and he never warmed up to any other cats or befriended them. I’ve had quite a few brother/sister pairs who are friends when they are kittens, but when they grow up, the female always wants to be left alone. And the brother ends up cuddling up to the other boy cats in the house after they are shunned by their sis too many times. My cat Leo loves other cats, he’s very social, and there’s something about him that draws other cats to him. He has all the neighborhood cats lined up at the back Door to come play with him. We have a cat door that is activated by micro chip, since he was bringing so many strange cats in the house. But he’s figured out how to tail gate his best buds in. The neighbors cat, Fabian, comes every night and waits outside the cat door for Leo to tailgate him in so they can snuggle. It’s pretty cute. Guess he’s got the charisma.

    • I don’t think they would get along if that’s the behavior towards his owner since youth especially but if your house is big enough even if they don’t get along sometimes they should have some areas to be separate if they wanted to an I don’t they would go looking for each other to fight I would put two seperate feeding an water bowls next to each other so the cats will overtime unshell because there forced to dine with the other if that makes sense I think you should go for it

  11. I have a 2yr old siamese mix dude who is my golden prince. He is very affectionate and personable with people, but is the only cat in his domain. I’ve had him since he was 3weeks as I was fostering his litter. Since I still foster he has had multiple interactions with kittens and while it varries on how interested he is in them he always comes around. I have always strongly believed in having 2 but I couldn’t get two from his litter due to past housing restrictions. Currently I have two foster kittens who have been with us for the past month, one girl one boy. They are great and I love both but I can only get one. Additionally, due to the high volume of kittens it’s unlikely that they will be forced by the shelter to be adopted as a pair. My dilemma is in choosing which one to keep. My Siamese gets along with both but tends to interact\sleep more with the boy. That being said he also fights more with him. The girl kitten he seems not as interested but will go to town licking her occasionally. He hasn’t been a huge fan of female cats in the past and I worry they won’t get along. Both kittens adore him so I’m not worried about them, I just really want to make sure I’m not getting my judgement clouded because I prefer one over the other.

    • You’re in a fortunate position that you already know that either kitten will get along with your boy, but I can appreciate what a difficult choice this is for you! It sounds to me that as long as the boy kitten will accept our prince as the top cat, that would probably work out, but if the fights are anything but play, I’d worry about that aspect.

  12. Not sure if you still respond to comments but thought I’d ask one anyway.

    I had two cats that I got at a shelter. They were not related but were bonded. The male was the only cat the female could stand. I had to adopt my dad’s cat when my dad passed away and my female never accepted him (my dad’s cat has passed on). I also brought home a kitten that I found and my female cat tormented him until I found the kitten a home.

    Two months ago, the male cat died suddenly due to aggressive cancer. Now the female of the bonded pair is all alone, and obviously lonely. She has always been clingy, but now she can’t go 10 minutes without trying to get me to hold her. She meows loudly when left alone for a minute, and will meow loudly on those rare occasions when she leaves my side.

    Unfortunately, I work all day. I know that she is lonely, and it breaks my heart. It’s still too soon for me to introduce another pet, but I’m still torn on whether to do so at all. Is it worse for my cat to be lonely, or to be stuck in a house with a cat that she dislikes or even fears?

    She is nearly 10 years old. She is also a very tiny cat, less than eight and a half pounds and quite short/small in stature. I don’t even know if I could find another cat her size or smaller. But I wouldn’t want her to get into a fight with a bigger cat. I have read sites that say that maybe cats who don’t like other cats will like a dog companion. But if I went this route, it would need to be a small dog…I’d hate to come home to see my sweet kitty hurt or killed by the dog (I have a friend who had that happen).


    • It’s impossible to answer this question definitively since every cat is an individual. However, based on your description of your cat, I would hesitate to introduce another cat. My personal opinion, and this may not be a popular one, is that the stress for a cat to be alone with a companion she dislikes or fears is greater than than to be by herself.

  13. So my friend had a litter of kittens when her cat mated with a cat outside. Well I watched my cat grow and my friend asked if I could take her of course I said yes. My cat is my love she only bonds with me but she hates people for some reason. Well she’s picky very picky. She’s an attacker but that’s how my cat and I play she’s the love of my life. It’s been a year and 2 months. Then my family brought in a male cat who is 4 months today in the house. I just don’t feel like my cat is going to like this cat. My cat loves our dog but the new cat hisses so much at our dog. I to be honest don’t know what to do cause I don’t want to stress my love!

  14. Hello, I rescued a 7 week old Russian blue kitten, we found her in the bumper of someone’s car. she is now 1.5 y/o. She is very affectionate with me though she does bite sometimes when she doesn’t want to be pet. She is very shy around new people until she gets to know them, but even then remains pretty reserved. I am looking to add another kitten to our home and I am unsure if this is a good idea, or what kind of kitten I should choose (breed/gender/etc.) what do you think?

    • I have got 2 famles and 1 male have are all kittens and trying to get them on 1 famle and the male is slowly getting on but the other one not

  15. My 3 year old female maine coon has always been semi-dominant and sometimes bites me and other people in the house, but never her doctors or anyone outside of the house. She was in a shelter briefly and she worked well with other cats. I am thinking of getting another cat, do you know what would be the best match for her?

    • Similar situation here, but she is almost 12 years old. She’s never been around other cats, so I’m not sure how she’ll do. She’s Maine Coon, too.

  16. I have a 7 yr old male laid back cat and added a (now 2) year old female last year. She is playful. Him not so much. We are now thinking of getting a kitten but are worried about them getting along. Would like one that is playful so our female can play with it. Not sure if male or female would be better.

  17. I have a 4 yr old Bengal. He was used for breading and has not had much in the way of affection. He is not a nervouse cat except when it comes to people. I have had him for ten months and he still will not let me get close to him. I talk softly to him all the time and give him cat-smiles and he gives me a very BIG loving smiles back, but runs away if I try to approach him, If I try to play with him he runs off too. I was wondering about getting him a companion, another cat, a rabbit, dog, I don’t care what it is (so long as I can look after it) just so long as he has a friend.

    Any thoughts or ideas?

    • I think it could go either way, Andrew. A companion might help your boy come out of his shell, but might also make him withdraw even more – unfortunately it’s impossible to tell.

    • Why don’t you try fostering. That way you have the change to see them interact after making proper introductions and hopefully find a cat that gets along with yours.

  18. Our current 8yr old cat adopted brother passed away, we’ve been giving her loads of attention but she still acts like that’s not enough. I know cats can get depressed and even mourn. She’s asking to eat all the time. She was the 2ed cat that we added 8years ago and he helped bring her out of her shell she is overly friendly and loved most that come in our home she’s even babies our bunny rabbit and 2 dogs, she has a house full of 4legged friends but we are thinking of maybe adopting another cat. Each time we’ve added an animal they get along harmoniously, I’m not sure if we should wait it out and let her mourn and maybe fish her going back in to a shy she’ll like she was 8yrs ago or adopt and let everybody adjust to a newcomer and hopefully live happily together.

  19. I have a 7 year old male Mainecoon mix that we are wanting to get a playmate for. We found him as a kitten 8 weeks old. He is still pretty playful and I think he naps more because he is bored. He is pretty social and just kind of chill. We think he would do well with a companion. We have been looking for a kitten. Do you think he is too old for a kitten? what about in the 6 month or so range? What age would you recommend? We are so fond of him and don’t want to screw this up.

    • A kitten is going to have a lot of energy, so it depends on whether you think your guy can handle that. Otherwise, a companion closer to him in age and temperament might be a better fit.

  20. Hi, I am considering adopting a kitten coming Saturday. I adopted my current cat last year and he is 1.5 years old now. (A boy). He is not shy, he follows us around all the times, not a lap cat though. But he never contacted with other cats after we adopted him. I am so worry about he won’t get along with the new kitten, should I take him to the shelter to pick a kitten? or I just have to choose a friendly one and hope for the best? Thanks a lot

    • Taking your current cat to the shelter to pick a kitten is not a good idea, Veronica. It would be terribly stressful for him. Pick a kitten that matches his personality, and introduce the newcomer very slowly and gradually for your best chance of a harmonious relationship.

  21. I’m thinking of getting my five year old Maine coon a playmate! My boyfriend and I are at work all the time and he is lonely. Any key pointers anyone?

    • I have a 7 year old mainecoon and ended up adopting a kitten. I believe it was a mistake because even though he is pretty playful at his age, the kitten has way too much energy and is constantly harassing him (wanting to play and wrestle). He will play chase sometimes but then just wants to chill out and she won’t let him. I feel really bad about it because now he goes in other parts of the house to stay away from her which means I get to spend less time with him. I suggest getting a cat closer in age and temperament.

      • Kerry this is EXACTLY what happened to my 6 year old kitty too. My roomy found an abandoned kitten at work, took him to the shelter and then they neutered tested him and she went n adopted him. Problem is exact same. Kitten has too much energy and runs my tyler down constantly. It’s also made my older cat withdrawn from us and he was very loving cuddly my very best bud….its been extremely emotional to see that change in him and if I’d known I’d never okayed it. I want to return the kitten to the shelter but she doesn’t. So what I’d like to know is have things gotten better with your situation? ? I miss my older laid back guy. Please anyone reading this think twice about bringing home a kitten as a companion for a kitty over 4. I feel like it’s a mismatch 🙁 not the kittens fault he’s being a kitten but i hate to see my boy being tormented all day long. He plays back sometimes but he’s also wanting to chill and kitty won’t let him. I don’t know what to do.

        • Michele, luckily we had to technically considered a foster prior to adopting because she wasn’t spayed. That was a blessing in disguise because when I took her to get her spayed I told them I wasn’t ready to adopt because not a good fit for my boy. I gave it about another month and it got worse. I took her back to the rescue and paid for her adoption fee for someone else to adopt her from the rescue. I know that sounds awful to some but I don’t care. My boy is my heart and he was so depressed and was hiding under the bed all day. It was awful. I started to resent this kitten so what was the point? When I took her back She was adopted within 2 weeks. I made sure to take her back while still a kitten and cute adoptable. We waited for quite awhile and ended up adopting an older cat Mainecoon mix about 1 year old and it is a world of difference. Same temperament. They are not best buds but they definitely are comfortable around each other and sit and sleep around me and my husband all the time. I’m sorry you are going through that. I hope it gets better. Have you talked to your roommate about how it is affecting you and your own cat? Maybe they have a family member that can take it. Best of luck

      • Hi,

        I feel the exact same way; we have a 4 1/2 y/o female flame point Himalayan, she’s very laid back and affectionate, loves attention and sitting/laying with us; about 5 weeks ago we adopted a rescue kitten from an animal shelter, another female who’s full of energy and wants to run and play constantly. I feel really horrible now because Cali chases Sasha all the time, jumps on her and wants to wrestle; the only peace she gets is at night I keep the kitten shut up in the bathroom downstairs, so she can have free run if the house and not be harassed. Part of me feels guilty and part of me keeps hoping it’s phase and things will get better..

  22. I have a cat who is about 8 years old, she’s very lazy at times but also loves to play at times too. She has gained an awful lot of weight, and sleeps most of the time. She occasionally loves affection but also doesn’t mind when she’s on her own. She is friendly but only to people she knows and likes. I’m thinking of getting a kitten but I’m worried that my cat will get jealous, or won’t like the new addition. Should I get a kitten or get one that’s a little older? Or maybe just enjoy having the cat I own now?

    • Unfortunately, there’s no way to predict whether a cat will accept a companion. Hayley. If you decide to move forward, I’d pick a cat that matches your cat’s personality. A kitten may be too high energy for an 8-year-old quiet cat. Make sure you introduce the newcomer slowly and gradually for the best chance of a harmonious integration into your household.

  23. I’m getting a kitten next summer for my 5 year old cat (he turns 5 in summer). He is really social and needs a friend because I don’t have that much time to play with him anymore. I hope 5 years isn’t too old, to get a kitten?

    • My cat is 5 and I recently got a kitten to keep him company after my beloved Dru passed away unexpectedly age 12.
      He loves the new kitten Ellie so much and they play and cuddle non-stop 🙂

      • Aww, Happy for you and your little furbabies! We are also getting a 5mo male kitten so that our 1.5yr old female can have a companion playmate. Praying n hoping they will warm up n like each other like yours did

  24. Hi, I get the article. But the problem with me is that: I always wanted to get 1 cat when I grow up. Why 1 cat? Becuase I wanted it to be my one and only cat, spoil the love for it, always be there for it. But what if its really lonely? Its hard to give love for 2 cats, mulitple the supplies, add more food, litter box. Its just so hard. 2 or 1 cat? And if you answer that question, I have one more. Gender. If I do only get 1 cat, if you say that, what gender? I usually like females but are they okay with other female owners (humans)? And if I get 2 cats, what gender? I dont like to get female and male because I dont want them to be sexually in love. I dont want 2 females, because they will probably hate each other. 2 males? They probably would fight. PLEASE HELP ME.

    • Only you can know whether you’d be able to handle two cats, or whether you’d be happier with a single cat, Isabella. If you decide to get two, gender is not as important as personality, and of course you’ll spay or neuter them (or they will already be spayed and neutered when you adopt them.)

      • “Only you can know whether you’d be able to handle two cats, or whether you’d be happier with a single cat, Isabella.”
        I know I can handle 1 cat, but what if its lonely? How do you know the personality of a cat? I’d spay if I get 2, but will they fight? What genders are the best?

        • Hi Isabella,
          If you want to have only one cat, maybe you could adopt one that is a little older and mature. Maybe one whose owner passed away or something but is used to being an only cat. Younger cats can get lonely but also have lots of energy and need a playmate. If you want two cats, maybe you could find two younger cats that are siblings or that already play together at the adoption center. Then you would know they get along well. Good luck!

          • I find it’s good to get 2 cats that are siblings. I had a brother and sister cat and they are great company to each other and the family. When you’re busy, they have each other to entertain.

    • I have a male cat at the moment…only one…I got him when he was a kitten and I got told that he was a girl…so for about 2 months I thought he was a girl…turns out not :’) it made sense after that as he was very energetic…and sometimes naughty…but I think as a female owner, I definitely get on better with male animals…as they are so dosile and such big personalities…personally I think female cats are not as affectionate as toms, as my mum has 5 cats…a boy and 4 girls, and just living with them, the boy is 3, and is so lovely and affectionate, but the girls are older and pick and choose when they want to be, there a bit more moody. They can be very loving though, and yeah I’d say as well it does depend on there personality not just there gender…but in my experience raise a tom cat 🙂 they are so lovely, mine follows me everywhere, but make sure to get them neutered, as it calms them down and stops them weeing everywhere 🙂 but with boys they do sometimes fight with others…and can cause a bit of mischief at times, I’m thinking of getting him a friend…as he is only 2…and best of luck 🙂

  25. I have a female that has lost her brother, a year ago. She is 11 years old and has never been alone! She crys all the time. She looks like she’s search the whole house. I feel like we should get a new cat for her. What should I look for? She was always boss with him!

    • I am going through this simler situation older cat lover got killed 4 mths.ago she eats /sleeps that’s about it ,I got a chance tommor to get a male or female she is female lost myself

  26. I had a 4 year old, Piper who was shy an anxious but very loving and becoming more confident every year, and a 2 year old, Kazi who is super happy go lucky and always been pipers support. Every time Piper would have an anxiety episode kazi would be there to comfort her, groom her, and then she would play with him when she was feeling energetic. The three of us moved around a bit when i was getting into grad school and lived with roommates that had both cats and dogs and kazi thrived with all the interactions, dog and cat alike. Now I live alone, Piper went outside afterdark and we haven’t seen her in a month. I did my best to find her, searching shelters, knocking on neighbors doors, posting to social media and she hasn’t turned up. Meanwhile, kazi has been grieving, meowing for her, searching for her, and becoming extremely clingy to me. Now, that we’re a month out his grieving has been getting better but i’ve noticed some changes in his attitude and confidence and am not sure if i should keep hoping Piper will come back, or if i should look into getting a second pet for kazi. He’s never been an only animal and I can’t tell if i should wait longer to see if he comes to enjoy it, or if he’s so social and nurturing it is worse for him to be on his own. thoughts? also thoughts on dog vs cat? He’s now about 2.5 years, does that change his likelihood of accepting another cat. All his previous housemate animals were when he was under 2 years old so still very curious and happy go lucky.

    • Oh Ang, I’m so sorry about Piper. There’s never a guarantee that a cat will accept another cat, regardless of age, although it sounds like Kazi is a pretty easy-going cat. I wish I could give you a yes or no answer, but ultimately, this is going to have to be your decision. If you do decide to add a new cat, introduce the newcomer slowly and gradually.

  27. Hi, desperate for some advice. Please help.
    I currently have two cats- an older spayed female calico (Dru) age 12 who is very solitary from other cats, but loving to us- she is also a VERY tough and resilient girl. She is a well-controlled diabetic. She is (and was always) an indoor cat.
    I also have a very friendly, sociable but (when outside), very terratorial neutered boy tabby aged 5. (Quinn). He is mainly indoors, but goes out for a few hours if we are home.
    We had an older cat (Deion) who passed away last June 2014, age 16. Quinn grieved for him terribly, (as did we all), as Deion and he were quite companionable, even if Deion didn’t always have time for Quinn.
    Dru, on the other hand, has no time for Quinn at all, and he seems to still be very lonely as she will not play with him. She tolerates him fine, just won’t play.
    I am in a quandry- do I get a kitten to keep Quinn company, so he leaves Dru in peace, and has a friend so he is less lonely? OR will this stress her out. Genuinely don’t know what to do to help both my babies. Thank you

    • I tend to think that kittens are not usually a good match for senior cats. Also, based on your description of Quinn, I’m not sure whether he would accept another cat. I wish I could be of more help – it’s a tough decision since there’s never a guarantee that any two cats will get along.

      • Thanks for coming back to me so quickly 🙂
        You think that as Q is quite alpha, he might hate another cat anyway? I just worry that at 5, and Dru at 12, he’s going to be on his own a long time after she passes (:() and it’ll be harder to introduce a new friend the older he gets?
        Conversely, I see from your posts that some cats are ok being alone. Much as she tolorates Quinn, I know Dru would be fine alone lol!

    • I just got a male Siamese for my female Siamese and she is acting crazy wants nothing to do with him and I am wondering if it’s just a faze and she is mad cause I brought another cat home or what we also have 3 Dogs that the female doesn’t mind at all???

  28. Hey, i have a 10 Months old Savannah Male (not fixed) he is very attractive and playful, but seeme lonely and i want to get a 2 Months old Bengal Female. Now im Afraid if my Male Savannah will try something with her while the Kitten Bengal Female is little..? Should i get a 2 months female (not fixed) Bengal while having a 10 months male (not fixed) Savannah

  29. Hi there,

    I have a 7 month old Siamese male kitten who has a great personality. He is playful and sweet, he plays with my neighbors cats and does not mind sharing a litter box (I know because he ran into our neighbors house and used theirs!). The mom and dad of my 7 mo old male just had another litter and I want to take an 8 week old female. She is his biological sister but not from the same litter. I think he will be fine but i worry that maybe the girl will be a bit more territorial? We will be getting her fixed and I heard that can be traumatic for a female as it is a more invasive procedure than it is for males. Do you think she will be ok with her older brother?

    • There’s no way to predict whether two cats will get along, and the fact that she is his biological sister won’t matter. Cats don’t “recognize” siblings, even from the same litter, once they’ve been separated. Your best bet is to do slow and gradual introductions.

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