A day in the life of an author’s cat

Fred, Lorna Barrett's cat

Guest post by Fred, owner of
New York Times bestselling author Lorna Barrett

Hello, my name is Fred. I’m a Tuxedo. That means I’m black and white. And very handsome. I know, because my author told me so.

Yes, I own an author. She wasn’t always an author, but when I came to live with her, her luck changed. Who says black cats are unlucky! She started selling lots of books. She has lots of author names: Lorna Barrett, Lorraine Bartlett, and L.L. Bartlett.

Why do people think black cats are unlucky? Okay, I do have some white fur, too, but I’m mostly a black cat. (Unless I lie on my back, and then my mapmaker—that’s the husband of my author—says I’m mostly white. Go figure!)

As an author-owner, I lead a pretty busy life. My day often starts at 3 or 4 in the morning. Sometimes I get restless and like to walk around the house talking to the cupboard. It holds lots of cans of cat food and kitty treats. I tell it to feed me, but it doesn’t listen well. So I walk around the house and talk to the furniture and the walls. Sometimes I talk (and scratch on) the bedroom closet door. For some reason when that happens, water comes squirting off of the mapmaker’s bedside table. Go figure!

I like to go back to bed about half an hour before everybody else gets up. Then I like to have a lie-in while my author and mapmaker play on their computers before breakfast.

I show up for breakfast every morning, but sometimes I don’t like what’s on the menu. I refuse to sit up and then I walk away. (But I sneak back when no one is looking. Hey, I gotta eat ya know.)

After breakfast, I like to jump on my author’s lap to take make sure she is correctly answering her email. Then I take a long nap on my mapmaker’s extra office chair. Sometimes I go sit under his 200 watt light bulb in my kitty bed. It’s too small for me, so sometimes I have to hang over the edges.

At lunchtime, I like to go see what my author is having. Sometimes she cuts up onions and celery and that means tuna will happen, and I get to drink the tuna water. I like that. (Doesn’t happen enough, though.)

After lunch, it’s nap time. I need to stay well rested because, like I said, I get up at 3 or 4 in the morning to talk to the walls and furniture. It’s a tough job, but someone has to do it.

My favorite part of the day is Happy Hour. My author and mapmaker like to read (and my author often edits her work in progress at this time of day). Sometimes cheese happens. Yum! Chester (their other black cat) is good about telling them that WE NEED CAT TREATS NOW! Sometimes Betsy (one of the two sisters that live here—I like to chase or LOOK AT HER and make her SCREAM) leaves her treats. I’m fast. I clean up her leftovers.

During happy hour, I like to run around the house and pretend I’m a bullet train. (Only I can jump over chairs and knock over tables. It’s fun!) I have kitty OCD which makes my skin ripple and makes me run fast. The only thing that calms me down is my author petting me and telling me I’m a good and handsome boy. (I am!)

In the evening, I like to walk around the house and let everybody know that I’m in charge. (Chester doesn’t believe it.) I like to jump on the back of my author’s office chair and purr in her ear. She seems to like it.

If my author stays up too late, I have to remind her that it’s my bedtime. I start talking to the walls and furniture in her office until she says, “Alright already! Bedtime!” I sleep at the bottom of my author’s bed. I have an afghan my people-grandma made me and I have a little pillow, too. I like to rest my head on the pillow.

When I’m not doing all these things, I bring my author lots of luck to sell her books. That’s why she calls me her little prince (and her tiny son). She loves me a lot.

That’s my happy life. I hope your life is happy, too!

Lorraine Bartlett with Fred

Fred’s author is New York Times Bestselling author Lorna Barrett of the Booktown Mystery series. Sentenced To Death, #5 in the series, was relesed June 7th. Lorna also writes the Victoria Square Mysteries under the name Lorraine Bartlett and the Jeff Resnick Mysteries under the name L.L. Bartlett.

You may also enjoy reading:

An interview with Lorna Barrett

A mystery author and her cats

20 Comments on A day in the life of an author’s cat

  1. Kate
    July 6, 2011 at 11:21 am (6 years ago)

    Sounds like a lovely life Fred. i have a tuxedo cat too called Byron, he says Hi.

    Byron doesn’t always like his breakfast too, so your not alone. Have a good day.

    Reply
    • Ingrid
      July 8, 2011 at 9:38 am (6 years ago)

      Doesn’t Fred have the best life, Kate?

      Reply
  2. Janet Bolin
    June 9, 2011 at 11:24 am (6 years ago)

    Fred, you’re very handsome, and an excellent writer, too. Did you learn that from your author, or did she learn her quite amazing writing skills from the articulate way you discuss matters with walls and furniture?

    Reply
    • Ingrid
      June 9, 2011 at 11:39 am (6 years ago)

      Janet, I’m guessing Fred would probably say that he taught his author everything she knows.

      Reply
  3. Panzer
    June 8, 2011 at 11:18 pm (6 years ago)

    Hi Fred,

    I’m Panzer, an all black kitty. You can visit my house. I play zoom-zoom kitty too (over the back of the couch, across the desk, and down the bookcase). I own a writer too. They’re pretty strange, aren’t they?

    See ya!

    Reply
    • Ingrid
      June 9, 2011 at 11:39 am (6 years ago)

      Thanks for stopping by, Panzer. Allegra and Ruby agree: writers are a strange kind of folk.

      Reply
  4. Dru
    June 8, 2011 at 8:37 pm (6 years ago)

    It was nice meeting you Fred. You have a good life.

    Reply
    • Ingrid
      June 9, 2011 at 11:38 am (6 years ago)

      He sure does, doesn’t he, Dru?

      Reply
  5. Masry Jane Maffini
    June 8, 2011 at 2:51 pm (6 years ago)

    Oh Fred, how delightful to have you here. I know you’ve been a big part of Lorna/Lorraine/L.L.’s success and you have earned a lifetime of tuna water. I’d like to kidnap you for myself but the miniature dachshunds would get their princess noses out of joint.

    Whatever you do, keep up that schedule. It obviously works.

    Your friend,

    MJ

    Reply
    • Ingrid
      June 8, 2011 at 4:39 pm (6 years ago)

      Masry, I’d say Fred has earned his keep and then some :-).

      Reply
  6. Lulu
    June 8, 2011 at 2:38 pm (6 years ago)

    Hi Fred,
    I think we may have been separated at birth! Although I’m a ragdoll kitty, I do everything that you do, including getting water turrets shot at me in the night, and running around like a super hero – my super hero name is The Flash. And yes, I’m in charge too! Thanks for such an entertaining peak into your life!
    Yours,
    Lulu the ragdoll cat

    Reply
    • Ingrid
      June 8, 2011 at 4:39 pm (6 years ago)

      Lulu, I like that you have a superhero name. Now Allegra and Ruby will probably want those, too.

      Reply
  7. Fred
    June 8, 2011 at 11:00 am (6 years ago)

    Thank you for reading my blog post. I think I could get to like doing this. Maybe you’d like to hear about how I look out the window to watch birds and squirrels. I keep our house free of them just by watching. (I don’t go outside.)

    Reply
    • Ingrid
      June 8, 2011 at 4:38 pm (6 years ago)

      Thanks for your guest post, Fred. Allegra and Ruby like watching birds and squirrels, too!

      Reply
  8. Layla Morgan Wilde
    June 8, 2011 at 9:52 am (6 years ago)

    Fred, thanks for unveiling your secrets for a happy life. Looks like you have things under control; as it should be.

    Reply
    • Ingrid
      June 8, 2011 at 4:38 pm (6 years ago)

      I think Fred could probably teach a course on how to be an author’s cat, Layla.

      Reply
  9. ev
    June 8, 2011 at 7:22 am (6 years ago)

    Aw Fred you sound just like my small herd here. Even tho she refuses to leave the dining room, Rascal is Queen to your King. She keeps everyone here in line, dogs included. Must be a black cat trait. Right now they are trying to find enough cool spaces for everyone to deal with the heat and humidity that is set to hit us, so I imagine it will be a quiet day on the home front. But like you,they are all very special and we’re happy to serve them. (p.s. their servants don’t use water, they use bottled air- they hate it!)

    Reply
    • Ingrid
      June 8, 2011 at 4:37 pm (6 years ago)

      It sounds like your herd has you well trained, Ev.

      Reply
  10. Pamela June Kimmell
    June 8, 2011 at 6:43 am (6 years ago)

    What a delightful story! Fred know how to people-manage his family quite well it seems. My cat Sam leads a similar life in that his Mom is a writer too and making sure HE gets all the attention he wants when SHE is at her computer writing or at her easel painting is a full-time job! Fred has the right idea though….persistance pays off….reminding humans who’s TRULY in charge as often as possible ensures plentiful treats and appropriate nap times.

    Enjoyed this blog this morning……..so did my Sam!

    Reply
    • Ingrid
      June 8, 2011 at 4:36 pm (6 years ago)

      I’m glad you enjoyed Fred’s post, Pamela!

      Reply

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